There’s a time and a place in any working environment for a well-timed curtsy. For example, if you run into your boss in the toilet. That is an ideal moment.
However, other times it’s advisable to not curtsy. For example, if you’ve just been sacked and the boss called you a, “Useless SOB bastard!” Then it would be inappropriate.
So, as you can see this is a highly complex matter. And it’ll take our great minds to dissect in the rambling and largely misguided feature you’re about to read.
Curtsying Employment Laws and the Dreaded Onset of Workplace Equality
Curtsying at work was managed under The Workplace Curtsy Act 1974. Its vision was emboldened by The Women Wearing Dresses at Work Act 1976.
And then in 1977, due to hippy-based equality laws and THE WOKE, further adjustments led to The Men Wearing Dresses and Curtsying at Work Act 1978.
In 1981, to avoid further confusion, all of the Acts were consolidated into The Genderless Dress Wearing and Curtsying Act 1981.
However, this was adjusted in 1982 further to The Gender-Based Curtsying Act Irrespective of Clothing Items 1982. However, due to right-wing protestations over this Act, there was a further Act introduced in 2018 to tie in with mindless and idiotic lapses into homophobia and sexism.
This is The Back in My Day There Weren’t None of This PC Lefty Woke Namby Pamby Garbage Where Everyone Were Getting Offended Act 2018.
Or TBINMDTWNOTPLWNPGWEWGO Act 2018 for short. In this Act, on page two of three, it states in the second paragraph:
“Back in my day we didn’t have none of this PC lefty woke namby pamby garbage where everyone were getting offended! Hence, under The Back in My Day There Weren’t None of This PC Lefty Woke Namby Pamby Garbage Where Everyone Were Getting Offended Act 2018… no on is to get offended anymore! Except me right now, getting offended by people being offended. Also, women in pants… bastards! What’s the world coming to!?”
To clear up any confusion here, the TBINMDTWNOTPLWNPGWEWGO Act 2018 does not relate to The Gender-Based Curtsying Act Irrespective of Clothing Items 1982 but it is connected for bewildering reasons.
The TBINMDTWNOTPLWNPGWEWGO Act 2018 is a supplementary Act to accommodate easily outraged right-wingers who need something to complain about (i.e. something utterly innocuous and of no threat to society).
In short, it allows room for complaining about curtsying—be it human male, or human female, completing the polite bob.
The Gender-Based Curtsying Act Irrespective of Clothing Items 1982 was amended in 2020 to accommodate the TBINMDTWNOTPLWNPGWEWGO Act 2018 so the two Acts work in tandem promoting equality and bigotry simultaneously.
Asked about how striking such a balance was possible, the UK government refused to comment.
However, the The Gender-Based Curtsying Act Irrespective of Clothing Items (Miscellaneous) Act 2020 has a bloody good go all the same. On page 654 in section 33 (b) it states:
“Curtsying is, and is not, allowed in working environments. Men and women partake in a curtsy at their own risk. Additionally, men and women wearing dresses partake in wearing the aforementioned dress, and then potentially curtsying, at his or her own risk.
Any easily outraged individuals of whatever political leaning are free to attack any curtsying individuals, whether a man or women wearing a dress, not wearing a dress, or not even curtsying.
Basically, it’s a bit of a free-for-all. But it should keep everyone on their toes and working hard whilst they ignore the relentless, ongoing, and heavily institutionalised government corruption and incompetence rampaging all day, every day.”
As such, if you have employees asking if they can wear a dress to work, or curtsy, you can respond with a definitive maybe.
Why is Curtsying at Work so Complicated?
In 2021, The Curtsying at Work Complications Act 2021 was introduced in an attempt to make work-based dress wearing and curtsying less complicated.
On page 665 of 3,421, in section 37 (c) it states:
“The complications of work-based dress wearing and curtsying have been estimated to cost the UK economy at least 47 pence annually.
By the government’s best estimations, this could cost the economy a truly shocking £3.50 before 2030.
As such, this horrifying tale of woke-driven malaise must be stopped at all costs. Alongside foreigners and immigration, there is no greater threat to society than men in dresses who want to curtsy.
Additionally, women in dresses wanting to curtsy are of grave concern. This is because they are too busy procuring dresses, and curtsying, to be off doing proper woman things like working hard and generating babies.”
The Generating Babies Over Wearing Dresses and Curtsying at Work Act 2022 launched in May 2022 to accommodate the dire threat to the UK economy.
This Act’s noble goal is to ensure more women focus on generating babies, as opposed to relying on free will to go out and buy dresses. Or curtsying.
In fact, the Act states on page 756 in the opening paragraph:
“The curtsy is now an act of grand scale indifference and can be recognised as the actions of a communist.”
There are expectations for another Act in 2023, which is rumoured to be called The Curtsying and Communism Act 2023.
Although in its early stages, it’s believed this Act will outlaw wearing curtsying and bring about a 50+ year ordeal of big businesses versus men, and women, wanting to wear dresses at work whilst contemplating curtsying.
As of 2023, you can expect this ordeal to be over.
Whereupon, we can return to focussing on working hard, for a hardworking hardship-based future with babies and work. And not curtsying!
Are Subjects Still Allowed to Curtsy at the Queen?
To note, as the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee beckons, on the day itself (4th June 2022) all legal blockades will be lifted and grand-scale curtsying will be encouraged.
In fact, the UK government intends it to be National Curtsying Day.
British citizens will be forced at gunpoint to head out into the street to curtsy mindlessly all day. Every UK citizen, by law, must complete at least 12 solid hours of endless curtsying on a loop.
No excuses. No, “Oh, I can’t curtsy because I don’t have any legs!” None of that snowflake crap. Get out there… and curtsy!
Businesses must encourage this behaviour in the build-up to the Jubilee weekend.
Any businesses noted to fail at this propaganda will be bulldozed to the ground by a post-Jubilee post-mortem.
Remember, the future of British society depends on your curtsy. Albeit, for one day only.
Then it’s back to normal with ABSOLUTELY NO CURTSYING under any circumstances on pain of being shot dead with a champagne cork fired by a wealthy British elite.