Being a fisherman is a sad and lonely dating experience, with only the odd carp or pike to flirt with. The chance of scoring are minimal, as only 0.0000000000000000001% of the world’s female population “go fishing“.

What is a man to do?!

That’s right! You need ROD, the best (and only) fishermen-based dating app on the market! Fish and flirt today at only £199 per monthly subscription fee. There’s nothing fishy about those prices!

Don’t Look Back in Angler

So you’re sick of chumming and want some female chums do you, fisherman? Or do your chat-up lines about crimping and crankbaiting fall flat on their arse?

Well, it’s time to get jiggy with it (NB: yes, that’s a reference to jiggling—the practice of fishing with a jig, the weighted fishing lure) and pull some hot birds! All from the comfort of your fishing stool out in the middle of nowhere!

The ROD (yes, that’s a reference to your fishing rod) app lets you:

• Setup your official fishing profile, replete with profile picture of you in your wellies holding a massive fish you’ve caught (because manly family food provider 10/10 hunk).
• Add a detailed profile description about your hobbies (i.e. fishing) and what you think about when you’re fishing. Things such as:
  • Non-discriminatory attacks from random bees/wasps.
  • Pork pies.
  • Getting a wife and then being about to complain about her nagging you.
  • Maggots.
  • Incessant rain.
  • Poor packaged sandwiches.
  • The state of the world.
  • That spreadsheet you need to hand in at work on Monday, but you haven’t mastered conditional formatting yet.
• Flirt with total babes!

Now, at this point, you may be wondering, “Why are women going to subscribe to a dating app where there are only fishermen? Won’t they want to… cast a wider net?!”

No.

Why?!

As it’s COMPLETELY FREE for women to join!

They also get a free fish of their choice*, which is mailed to their address within three working days of downloading the app and setting up their profile.

*NB: Offer excludes great white sharks, blue whales, Sharky & George, and Flipper.

ROD’s Dating Features

Impress the top totty with ROD’s fish-tastic range of features! Including:

• Fish & Chips: Send a priority like to the babes you fancy the most—a full meal of fish, chips, and gravy!
• Lure: Want to grab that broad’s attention?! The Lure feature swings a digital hook into her profile, dragging yours into view.
  • Do note, when you do this (especially if you’re, like, really ugly) the woman will probably be greatly annoyed and block you.
• Bait: Dangle your most magnificent rod (fishing) on your profile to win the damsel. It’s well known women will go ga-ga for man blokes with rods the size of Mount Everest!
• Maggots: Someone said something mean to you?! For £1 a time, fling a bunch of maggots all over their profile! You’re not pulling anyone looking like that now, you bloody blonde headed bombshell!

We also run a strict anti-fraud policy to prevent genuine fish from registering on the app. Our policy includes goldfish and haddock.

Excellent Fish-Based Chat Up Lines for Flirting Purposes

There are plenty of fish in the sea! Fish-based flirting is proven to make women go gooey at the nostrils.

As such, attach some of these humdingers onto the end of your line:

• “Fishing for compliments is never easy!”
• “Yes, darling, I’m very so-fish-ticated!”
• “Cod this be any punnier?”
• “Go for a drink with me or I’ll make you walk the plankton.”
• “Perch-ance, is this seat taken?”
• “Will you go on a date with me? I’ll let you ink about it! You get it? As in, squid ink. Yes? Honey? Darlin’? Sweetie?”
• “Never fall in love with a blowfish. You’ll always get re-puffed.”
• “You’re blushing like a catfish that’s just seen the bottom of the ocean.”
• “You’re the gill of my dreams!”
• “I’d love to marry you, so long as your not a psychopath who likes bass-lighting!”
• “Let’s get married! These days, they let anyone o-fish-iate at weddings, as long as they have a certificate from the net!”

Those lines are 100% guaranteed to land you a date with a babe! And if they don’t, you’ll get a COMPLETELY FREE fish & chips dinner on us. Happy fishing!