Some human males get addicted to youth slang, such as in the modern era with the appalling addiction of repeatedly calling everyone “bro”. It’s trendy. They want to appear cool and in with their peer group. Thus, the lifelong verbal tick begins.

Unfortunately for some, they realise too late they have laid waste to their own lives. Such as today’s pathetic wastrel, whom is here seeking a way to stop saying the accursed word 3,457 times or so a day. May God have mercy on his soul…

Bro Addiction: The Horrors of Youth Slang

Bro,

I’m addicted to saying “bro” and it ain’t right, bro. Like, I iz 23 and I iz been saying it for like 3 year now and itz da first thing I say in da morning and da last thing I say at night before I pass out from drinking one too many ciders mixed wiv da hard shit (Maccy Ds).

Bro, itz making me sad. I iz a wreck. An I don’t mean like a car wreck, like me mate Keffer flipped his wheels next to Maccy Ds last week, but what I mean here like iz I iz saying “bro” so much I can’t think about nothing else coz of da pressure to keep saying it and to look cool, bro.

Iz diss normal, bro?

Can I save meself, bro?

I iz been fired from me last job for saying “bro” to the customers all day and some of the customers got real upset, complained to management that I iz a “hoodlum” and I iz fired (also for taking 34 sick days in 2 month but that I digest) an that ain’t right bro. What iz I suppose to say to my girlfriend? “Yo, bitch, I iz sacked from job coz of youth slang, aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie.” Thatz what I iz said to her an she called me “numbnuts” and an “sad act” and I got real angry an went to Maccy Ds, bro, got a Big Mac an me anger it went away, bro. But then it came back later, bro, coz I got a bad reference from me job coz I called me firing manager a “daft old bint” an now I’m blacklisted in the pet store industry I ain’t not working there no more, bro, my career is finished an I had big plans. Woz gonna werk me weigh up the corparrot ladder an run the big store an now itz all in ruins, bro. Sad bastard, thatz me.

Root off all this is me habit of saying “bro” an I now that I gotta stop doin this, bro, can you help me? I now you usually take care of divorces and men cheating on they’re misses an that but today HELP ME, bro. I gotta get that dream bak on track I WILL BE DA MANAGER OFF ‘PETZ R US’ IN ROCHDALE! LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN, BRO!!!!

Ta, Bozzer

Hi there, Bozzer. Our suggestion is you mix it up with some youth slang cinnamons (synonyms) such as:

• Blud
• Brah
• Bruh
• Boss
• Bestie
• Chat
• Fam
• Pookie

This way you can gradually wean yourself off the excessive “bro” usage into more formal, relatable, and less deleterious territory. All the best with your personal journey of trauma, Bozzer.