The Berks of Being a Wallflower is a book for stupid people. Launched in 1999, the young adult fiction classic details the life of middle-aged Bert, whom goes through daily activities in Lancashire being a total jackass.
The work is acclaimed for its accurate depiction of berkdom—the act and quality of behaving like a berk.
Across its 1,100 pages, the sprawling masterwork from author Jeff Smith won fans all around the world from fellow berks, with berkish instances of behaviour skyrockets by 7,000% after the work’s launch.
The Joys of Adolescent Berkishness in The Berks of Being a Wallflower
“And I guess I realised at that moment that I really didn’t love her. Because there was nothing to gain, and that didn’t matter. Because I am a berk.”
The story of Bert the berk is universal, timeless, and endlessly appealing for anyone whom identifies as a bit of a tosser.
You know you’re a tosser. Everyone knows you’re a tosser. You’re told you’re a tosser. But you’re such a tosser you can’t be bothered doing anything about it because, yes, it makes you miserable, but, like, being nice to people takes effort. And who has time for that?
If that’s the way you think, The Berks of Being a Wallflower is a real eye opener of a work.
There are many contemplative, thoughtful monologues during the work. Even for the most obnoxious of individuals, it may well make you scoff in disgust as you identify in within your life. If you repeatedly punch yourself in the face, you may well shed a tear over rambling nonsense such as this.
“It’s much easier to not know berks sometimes. Things change and berks leave. Berks don’t stop for anybody. I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad. Or maybe shrug at how strange berks are, especially me. I think the idea is that every berk has to live for his or her own life and than make the choice to share it with other berks. You can’t just sit their and put berks’ lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am—a berk. And I’m going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of berks for what they did or didn’t do or what they didn’t know. I don’t know. I guess there could always be someone to blame. It’s just different. Maybe it’s good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it’s okay to be a berk. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. I feel infinite. I feel like a berk.”
The work isn’t overly enjoyable to read as self-diagnosed non-berks. As such, we found the 300 pages kind of annoying to wade through.
However, for the undesirables of the world this will be your bible. It’s packed full of insights and witticisms on being unlikeable and vile, which should stand you in good stead on your mission towards total abhorrence.
Condemnation From the International Berkdom Community
There was controversy surrounding the novel in 2012 after the founding of the International Berkdom Community (IBC), with headquarters in Bolton of Greater Manchester.
Whilst the community agreed they were delight “in an angry way” about the novel, for the sake of being contrarian (a classic trait of berks) the IBC made the unilateral decision to hate the book and have a fight with each other. The fight resulted in 13 expelled members (later reinstated), several black eyes, a sprained wrist, and a Pot Noodle was knocked over.
The community soon forgot about the incident as, due to being berks, they got themselves embroiled in further pointless acrimony for no reason at all.
