In today’s short post we’re having a go at youth slang, as can be witnessed in the title above. Now, to put it very mildly, only imbeciles think that youth slang is “cool” in any way. It isn’t cool. Turn up to your job interview speaking like a 5 year old and you’re going nowhere, guy. Your interviewers would say to each other afterwards, “What a turgid buffoon! We should have him jammed into stocks and left in some town centre where the public could pelt rotten sandwiches at him/her whilst making exclamations of ‘LOL’ and other equally idiotic acronyms.” Oh yes, sir/madame.
Is there a lesson here, Bruce?
Well indeed there is! NOW! It just so happens one of our many hobbies is going on YouTube and infuriating people with deliberately obscure, subversive, illiterate, moronic, or highly patronising comments. Once the comment has been placed we sit back and wait for the outraged reply. This activity is known to the internet community as “trolling”. More intelligent people have come up with the word “deindividuation”, where normal people all of a sudden become gibbering maniacs due to the anonymity provided by the internet. Occasionally we actually make serious comments on YouTube about people’s ridiculous attempts at grammar. Often the response to our observations goes something like; “yo wot yew like da gramma police LOL! diss iz da intanet n eye can sey worreva eye fink innit geez git wid da thymes blud roflmao”. Such statements are simple a way of covering up how these dunces are incapable of grasping fundamental English principles. So to summarise; if you write like a 5 year old, you will be treated like a 5 year old. LOL!
On a final note, to the girls (for it is always girls) who make a status update on Facebook along these lines; “omg i h8 my life everything is just so not like write!!!!!” – please note that this is puerile narcissism and all you are suffering through is teen angst and/or a need for attention. If the latter is the case get a pet or a boyfriend. Or invent a time machine. Boy, would we love a time machine! We’d go back to the dinosaurs and shake hands with a T. Rex. OMG it would be, like, super awesome!!!!!!!!