It’s not like England is Iceland, a country which often only has a few hours of sunlight a day. But, and it’s a big but, autumn is well under way in the UK and, although it is sunny today, for around the next 5 months There Will Be Blood.
Well, coldness, rain, maybe snow, certainly frost… and unmatched transport chaos. Yes, with the weather change comes Britian’s unrivalled inability to get public transport running properly. It’s going to be a right laugh!
Today’s post takes a look at the Sun (no, not the tawdry tabloid), England, the Earth, Autumn, Winter, and anything what does enter Mr. Wapojif’s merry brain.
Oh, we also consider whether the office pet, Beans the Chinese Dwarf Hamster, is going to hibernate or not. So this post is a consideration on life without the Sun; a contemplation on dreams, existence, merriment, Santa, hamsters, food, and pillows. Adieu, Sun!
Social, Economic, and Hegemonic Alterations
These are plentifold. The repurcussions of the loss of the Sun for 5 months leads to many things. Bereft of ideas for food, Brits resort to eating Fish & Chips for every meal of every day. This leads to colossal weight gain, which in turn places tremendous strain on the NHS.
Last year, Prime Minister David Cameron was quoted as saying “The” with regard to the obesity crisis in England. Others have been verbose in their vitriolic attack on bad diets; “What the bloody hell!?”
The Queen of England has been known to roar when she receives a donut with her breakfast of turnips, mud, and Special K. Many Equerries have lost their lives due to such stupidity.
Will Beans Hibernate?
Taking all bets! LOL! No, just kidding. By Flying Spaghetti Monster law GAMBLING is a sin punishable by eternity with no parmesan to go with your bolognese.
What a hellish nightmare! Still, there is a possibility she could hit the sleep button for a few months over winter.
You often hear stories of hamster owners thinking their little one has snuffed it, so they bury it in the garden only to find the seemingly zombiefied hamster return from the dead. We’ll keep a close eye on her activities.
The Royal Family
Never mind Beans, during the winter months The Royals head off into hibernation for some 3 months, leaving the country in the claws of Prime Minister David Cameron.
Dave usually steps up to the mark with this with some mighty quips about “having a good Christmas”, “not attacking too many strangers”, and, “Can we please avoid the nationwide riots this year?”
Once the Royal Family return our nation, once more, becomes the insufferable syscophants of yore. Honestly. It’s the 21st century, y’all!
The lack of sunshine means the already VERY pale British population hit the Suntan Beds to get the tan lines they so crave.
Not all of us, of course, as many of the more intelligent British citizens realise this is futile and moronic behaviour. Got a problem with pale people? Then sod off back to the beach!
Yes, no Sun means mental anguish and mourning. The Sun, who is like a great big friend up in the sky, will be missed whilst it is away keeping other people warm and happy.
In England, mittens, bobble hats, scarves, and grave digger coats will be de rigeur. No choice; it’s either this or you WILL freeze to death.
And if you’re a solid block of ice you can’t work, and if you can’t work you can’t feed yourself, and if you can’t eat food then what’s the point? Cabbages galore!