The Many Emotions of Beans the Chinese Dwarf Hamster

Beans the Chinese dwarf hamster
Being your own washing machine must be fun.

We felt it was about time we celebrate our office pet, Beans. She often gets the odd mention and yet now, at around eight months of age, we have decided to pay tribute to her contributions to the Professional Moron office.

“What does she do to help you along?” you could ask. Well, in truth, nothing. In fact what she does manage to do is get bits of sawdust everywhere and throw temper tantrums by flinging her bedding, wheel, and food everywhere.

It’s hard work looking after her (check out our guide to pet hamsters), and we’ve had numerous arguments along the way. Usually about pumpkin seeds, which she really enjoys. Again we have no idea why she likes the things so much, but she goes for them over any other food.

Trying to steal a pumpkin seed from Beans is like taking a beer out of a football hooligan’s hands – complete mayhem.

Bean’s the Hamster’s Emotions

Anyway, to celebrate her impending 1st birthday (which is about 4 months, yes yes, but “why not?” we though) we’ve got a collection of images together to showcase the myriad of emotional displays of Beans.

This is the small Chinese dwarf hamster at her very best, everyone, so enjoy as she doesn’t do many requests, you see, but by clever bartering we have also managed to get her annotations on each photograph. Read on and observe, readers!


“I like this picture as it shows my brooding effervescence unlike any other picture. I believe it was Mr. Wapojif who took this shot. Shortly afterwards I bit through his finger to the bone. Hahaha! We all laughed.”


“Many have said I am an indifferent little beast, but I do not understand or care about these accusations.”


“I get very angry at times. I am not sure why. It can be about little things such as why there are more pine nuts in my food tray than pumpkin seeds. I flip out at such an offense and tip my wheel on its side in a display of defiance.”


“I am very stoic.”


“I’m not one for public displays of exuberance but, however, I am known to make an immense turn of speed when I am reasonably chuffed about something.”


“The only things I find bewildering are my general whereabouts, what I’m doing, and why I am doing it. Everything else is sorted.”


“Yes, I am probably, sort of, curious.”

Dispense with some gibberish!

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