Where’s The Most Awkward Place To Have A Fight?

It’s massive, it’s formidable, it’s filled with endless moments of peril, and it’s also (apparently) a great place to have a punch up!
It’s massive, it’s formidable, it’s filled with endless moments of peril, and it’s also (apparently) a great place to have a punch up!

Some news stories are just perfect for Professional Moron. Anyone who has read our blog for more than a few weeks might notice our interest in weird situations, Mount Everest’s imposing nature, and ridiculous human behaviour. We figure this story, reported by MSN, covers all these areas pretty well. “What story, Mr Wapojif?” This one, idiot readers; “Police investigate punch-up on Mount Everest”. Anish Gupta of Cho-Oyu Trekking had this to say of the incident today, “We were told our clients and the [Napelese] guides fought on their way to camp three.” The company, based in Kathmandu, organise these treks for rich people with too much thyme on their hands. A Swiss and Italian climber are allegedly behind the several thousand ft high temper tantrum.

This got us thinking; just where exactly are the most stupid places you can have a fight? Bear in mind actually getting involved in fisticuffs is usually reserved for one of the following sorts; drunk people, idiots, bigots, football hooligans, and boxers. Most civilized people with standard IQs are able to settle their matters peacefully. Still, there are lots of thick people out there, and so Mr. Wapojif (being one of them) offers our dear readers the chance to hoist thy muscles and get belligerent with others. In weird places. Onwards, comrade!

————————————-

Swimming With Great White Sharks

"But, darling, I want the laminate... GAAARRGHHHHHH!!!"
“But, darling, I want the laminate… GAAARRGHHHHHH!!!”

What perfect timing! You’re swimming with some of the most dangerous animals on Earth and you decide to have a blazing argument with your other half about whether or not to have laminated wedding invitations, or normal card ones to save costs. The missus wants laminated, you want card, and the Great White Sharks are not only a bit hungry, but they’re also pretty irritated by this belligerent couple. Would anyone begrudge the sharks for going a bit mental to shut the betrothed ones up?

On The Toilet

Good toilet, eh?
Good toilet, eh?

If, for some reason (you might be really drunk), you decided to have a furious row with yourself on the bog, then we can see all manner of embarrassment coming out of this. I mean, really, in the midst of bodily functions and you’re screaming at yourself and throwing punches? Not on, sir! Not on.

During Brain Surgery

Brainssss.
Brainssss.

Imagine if you’re a Brain Surgeon and you suddenly have a falling out with one of your inferiors; basically, some DUNCE didn’t hand you your lucky scalpel you’ve had since Med school. The bastard! Now, with some patient’s brains everywhere, it’s time for you to have it out with the underling and put them in their place! What ho, Jeeves!

You’ll have to think up more…

BOWELS!!!!!
BOWELS!!!!!

Sadly today’s article will be cut short as Mr. Wapojif is orf (The Queen’s English) on a work do – BOWLING. Now the last thyme this happened there were several broken limbs and much of North West England had to be placed on 24 hour guard after riots kicked off. Mr. Wapojif doesn’t deal with failure well, and his uselessness at bowling hit hard. Wish him luck, and may (for the sake of humanity) he swing his bowls fast and true!

And finally…

Beans’ Cleaning Ritual!

Cleaning commences!
And continues!
Nearly done!
And now she can’t remember where she is.

Here’s a Beans update to make up for our sudden departure from the post’s topic. This is her cleaning ritual, which we have dubbed The Cleaning Ritual. Cool, eh?

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