Some things are better than other things. As noted by George Orwell’s Animal Farm: some animals are more equal than others. A bunch of pigs made that statement, and we don’t mean the police (and, by this, we also don’t mean Sting and The Police). Meantime, in the human world, many of us clarify how some things are better by prefixing super before something.
Thusly, we have the Super Nintendo, Super Mario, Super Metroid, Super Aguri (a former Formula One team), Super Street Fighter II Turbo, Super Mario Kart, and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. The latter is the much better version of the diplodocus, a dinosaur which itself weighed some 17 million tonnes and couldn’t so much as blink without causing Earth shifting earthquakes. Cripes! Imagine what the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was capable of! Imagine indeed – why do you think the Moon is where it is?
Diplodocus VS Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
In the scientific community, debate rages like a drunk and belligerent waterfall about where the Moon came from. Did it stagger into our atmosphere like an intoxicated football hooligan staggers into a kebab shop? Or did it somehow dislodge itself from the Earth like a hail of obscenities dislodges itself from a guttural football hooligan mid-match?
Before we answer this questions, let’s take stock. The diplodocus was a giraffe-like dinosaur with a far less interesting colour scheme than the giraffe (probably, we don’t know what colour it was but we’re hazarding the guess it wasn’t bright pink). It was a good dinosaur, but some dinosaurs are just more good. You know what we mean?
Thusly, over millennia, the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious adapted alongside the diplodocus as part of the diplodocid sauropod family. Initially it had been but a mere 20ft tall by 30ft in length – as millions of years ticked by it became so gargantuan most dinosaurs couldn’t be within a mile of the thing as it sucked all of the oxygen out of the atmosphere with its massive nostrils. Cripes!
The Moon is Born
As eons went by, the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious became a super massive dinosaur and the species forced oxygen to the point of extinction. With barely any of the stuff left to breathe, dinosaurs suffocated to death simultaneously. Thusly, we have the definitive proof as to what killed the poor, scaly, terrifying buggers off, paving the way for human beings such as Steven Spielberg and Jeff Goldblum to make historically accurate dinosaur flicks.
Incidentally, as many neighbouring supercalifragilisticexpialidociouses collapsed simultaneously, weighing some combined 400 million tonnes they knocked a wedge of land off the planet and this went up into orbit. This was roughly 20,000 years ago, which was when our Moon was born. Also, this is the moment Elvis travelled back in time to after he faked his death in 1977. Also, JFK. And Jim Morrison. Indeed.