The thing about design floors is they aren’t as good as design flaws. What’s a flaw? Something which isn’t quite right, such as a pop tart which doesn’t pop, high heel shoes which cause agonising tooth decay, nose hair, and those cats without any hair.
Design floors, on the other hand (or should that be, “on the other floor” LOL!) are where one can let one’s creativity let rip. Indeed, the true beauty of the design floor is it’s like starting with a clean slate in life. You may have robbed that grocery store and spent 10 years in jail for stealing a bag of carrots, but you’re out and you’re ready to start over! You can create whatever you bloody well wish and it’s a marvellous feeling.
Design Floors vs Design Flaws
There are some famous design flaws in the history of ever. The Titanic, for instance, was rubbish against icebergs, the football isn’t very hand friendly, human hair is pretty ineffective against nuclear explosions, and chairs are of no use if you don’t have a table to sit at. Indeed, would you have a chair sitting about idly in your flat aiming at nothing? Exactly, it’d be weird.
Those were examples of design flaws. Design floors, on the other floor, are much more user-friendly. Whenever you walk on a floor, you know it’s been designed by what is known as an architect. Architects are too lazy to build anything themselves, of course, so overweight, hairy builders take care of that.
These men are, ironically, covered in design flaws (such as bum cleavage whenever they bend over). They’re often also belligerent and irrational, which is seemingly a marvellous state of mind to be in if you want to be happy in a blissfully ignorant kind of way.
Let’s get Pretentious
Obviously, the most spectacular form of postmodernism one can commit to here is to create a design floor which is flawed. How does one do this? Pretty easily, but with the added stamp of Professional Moron’s stupidity to get things ramped up a level.
In the olden days, people used to make floors out of mud or harsh, cold, bleak stones. These days, we humans use carpet or wood. Others may even use lumps of metal, but that’s their prerogative and in this liberal world we mustn’t mock the lumps of metal.
Ultimately, what we think we’re getting at today is, as the old saying goes, “there can be no true beauty without tooth decay.” So whilst some of you may think there is such a thing as perfection, in reality there isn’t as everything is flawed.
Whether it’s you when you’re picking your nose thinking no one’s watching (but someone actually is), or that dude at work who eats with his mouth wide open, even with the best designed floor you’re still going to get a flaw. Ho hum. Maybe just embrace those foibles, eh?