Great Sayings Revisited: Blood is stupider than water

Blood is stupider than water.
Damn straight!

Sayings are grounded in truth, apparently, or are supposed to be wise concepts to help you along in life. So why does stating blood is less intelligent than water exist? It’s not only rude but it’s scientifically impossible to prove one is more intelligent than the other. What are you going to do? Put an algebra test in front of a glass of water, or basic logic questions next to a seeping wound? How ridiculous!

Blood and water are as important as each other, of course. Without blood, a human will shrivel up like a raisin and just sit about the place wheezing. Without water, a human will become dehydrated and this leads to photosynthesis. So why does this saying exist? Let us take a bloody good look!

Blood is Stupider than Water

The thing about this saying is it makes you think if there’s something to it. Perhaps, due to some sort of transmundane mundanity, liquids are more intelligent than one another. We’d wager a can of coke is much more sprightly than a carton of full-fat milk, for instance. Similarly, tea is clearly much more intelligent than vapid, harsh, putrid, and slimy coffee.

So does this extend to greater expanses of liquid? Is, for instance, the Pacific Ocean more intelligent than the Irish Sea? If so, what does this mean about Lake Superior? Does it suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder? Compare this to the Loch Ness, which is so vapid it continues to believe it’s home to a prehistoric monster.

Then one can become insular and dismiss ponds, puddles, and leaky faucets as dismally vacuous sorts whom one shouldn’t give the time of day. As you can see, this saying is grounded in odious prejudices and should be outlawed immediately!

And Replaced With?

In this time of non-PC, we must get PC again. How about “Blood is a tad more cognitively-impaired when compared to water”? It’s not exactly punchy, but then at least it ensures you’re not punched by an aggrieved glass of water if you use the traditional saying.

However, world events have dictated it’s okay to be bolshy and promote an in-your-face attitude. Want to call someone a “total and utter asshead” as they’re from a different side of the street to you? From 2016, it’s A-OK to do so!

Indeed, so whilst sayings may be traditional, there’s no reason why they can’t be updated. Alternatively, seeing as 2016 is the death of PC according to some, why not go all out for it? Such as: “Blood is a dumbass”. It hurts but, seeing as the statistics back it up, it’s a factual accuracy – the best type of evidence ever!

3 comments

  1. Hey… let’s go all out and say trump is a dumbass! Yet, I’m sure he knows Lake Superior is superior to all liquids, and will soon conscript Canada’s half of that great lake half to being a US citizen, while eliminating all non-liquid denizens from the country. … Just thinking out loud!

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    • Cripes, it’s a scary thought. I’m not looking forward to the next four years.

      What I’d do is go out to Lake Superior and give it a telling off. Something like: “All lakes are equal!” and all that. There’s no need for showing off, you know?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Huh! I never thought of that. All lakes are equal. I think that’s brilliant. After all, Lake Superior is merely the second largest lake in the world, after the Caspian Sea. Sea????

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