Travel Guide 2017: Visit Miserable Mercury for Lessons in Boredom!

Travel Guide 2017 - Mercury
It’s miserable Mercury. Huzzah!

If boredom is your thing then a trip to Mercury should be on the cards! Yes, this miserable little planet is a place to go to repent and generally be a bit of a misery guts. So, if you’ve got a social media addiction, are crippled by appalling narcissism in this attention seeking age, or want to cut loose and be grey, Mercury is for you!

The smallest planet in the Solar System, its relentless grey makes it as unappealing as the Moon but several thousand times more irritatingly difficult to get to! So buckle up, because 2017 is all about ennui and unhappy contemplation. Make it Mercury!

Getting There

Travelling to Mercury is a chore, but nowhere near as bad as some of the other space holidays we’re offering. When they’re at their closest, it takes but a mere 40 days to get from the Earth to Mercury. This short flight is a perfect chance to reminisce, reflect, and genuflect on everything that happened in 2016. This will prep you for the endless fun you’ll have on arrival at Mercury!

Activities

There’s barely anything to do at Mercury, but when you’re inventive you can turn your tedious holiday into a slightly more bearable experience! Bask in the glory of immense solitude and boredom with these super fun activities and possibilities.

BOREDOM!

Sit around bored out of your tiny mind – “Why in the name of **** did I book this goddamn holiday?!” you’ll rave. Touché, you wretched sinner!

BANALITY!

Every day is the same on Mercury – you’ll never trash those rainy days back on Earth when you’ve been to this snorefest!

GREY!

Get to understand the meaning of the colour grey and its glaring inadequacies.

50 SHADES OF GREY!

What better way to fully comprehend the meaning of all that is grey by reading the notorious novel next to the greyest backdrop in the Universe!

FREDDIE MERCURY!

Visit Freddie Mercury’s home planet and listen to Queen’s back catalogue. Perfect your dance moves to Killer Queen and camp it up a notch!

BINGE WATCH NETFLIX

Let’s face it, there’s sod all to do at Mercury, so binge watch your favourite films and TV shows 48 million miles from Earth. Hey, you’re high up, there’s probably an amazing broadband speed there!

Book Now!

Stuck for travel ideas in 2017? Go to one of the most desolate and pointless planets in the Solar System – Mercury doesn’t have it all. Indeed, it has nothing at all! It’s the ideal location to gain a sense of perspective and catch up on light entertainment – sure, you could do that on Earth, but then that’s not a proper holiday, is it?!

Mercury may be miserable but then so are you deep down in your pathetic soul, Earthling. Take the trip – make Mercury your holiday destination and marvel at morose Mercury and its bland, bleak, nihilistic world of nothingness. That’s the perfect backdrop for catching up on the Walking Dead!

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