P-P-P-Patreon: Professional Moron’s Tyrannical Plans

Professional Moron - Not going green but going yellow
See? We went to the trouble of designing this thing to show our commitment.

Right, we’ve got moderate sized plans going forward. The result? Professional Moron is on Patreon! That means we expect you to throw money at us. NOW! Oh yeah, here’s why.

The Moronic Journey

Since February 2012, we’ve stumbled towards this point like idiots.

That time has produced over 2,000 posts, over a million words of content, and we got nominated for the Best Gaming Blog in England on the UK Blog Awards in January 2019.

It was kind of weird as we’re not a gaming site. We do some stuff on Sundays about it, but as there’s no humour award yet, we applied for games and they ended up sticking us in the nominations list.

Now, that was a public vote and in our humility we decided to not bother suggesting our readers go over and vote for us.

But we lost – and the good thing about that is we can now claim to be an award-losing site. Something we’ve always dreamt of.

But… we feel like we should be more bolshy. That’s why, today, we’re updating you on our long-term goals with this thing.

Our Moronic Plans

Okay, so we’ve seen other good creative folks on WordPress (and YouTube) asking for community support on their projects. And we pledged.

But we’ve also decided to do it. That’s why this thing has turned up on the site.Professional Moron's Patreon

What does it mean? Well, with your piffling monthly contributions we can aim for the following:

  • WordPress Business Package: We want to jump up to the Business plan – it’s £200 a year. With that, we can add a load of fancy new features like plugins, SEO metadata software, and Google Analytics. It’ll help us with our digital marketing career AND make this site even more moronic. And that’s only going to be a good or bad thing.
  • YouTube Account: We really want to make videos for the popular streaming site. Or at least try. And that’ll mean costs for the right software and equipment to try things out and make it all to a good standard. But stupid stuff, plus film and video game analysis, are what we have in mind. With the odd book thing thrown in.
  • Creative writing: Mr. Wapojif is also a novelist and short story writer on the prowl for a literary agent. All funds for that career goal will be a massive boost.
  • Sandwiches: The Professional Moron staff is starving! Fund us so we can buy fancy food from upper class stores such as Marks & Spencers. We’re not expecting social mobility, just sandwiches.

All we can state is that if you love our content, even the most minute amount you can provide us over on our Patreon tiers will be glorious.

You can supply monthly amounts from $50 (if you’re insane), right down to $1 (if you’re an unemployable wretch). And you can cancel at any time you want.

Rest assured, whatever you offer results in a digital hug from us. Daawww.

Peace and vegetables,

The Professional Moron team (led by diabolical genius Mr. Wapojif)

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