Exclusive Invention: The Wardrobe Bathtub (for bathing & fashion)

A giant wardrobe
You see? Big enough for a bath.

Here’s our first invention of the year! And it’s a proper belter. A work of genius. An all-in-one, state of the art wardrobe and bathtub. Yes.

So, if you don’t have a bathtub but you still want to enjoy the luxury of a bath then this is the affordable £3,000 item of your dreams!

What’s the Wardrobe Bathtub?

It’s a wardrobe for your bedroom that also doubles up as a bath. So, you can use it to store your clothes, whilst bathing at your leisure.

We asked its inventor, our esteemed editor Mr. Wapojif, where his idea came from. He said:

“I was showering in my work clothes to save time one morning when it hit me… I hadn’t have had a bath in two years. My flat doesn’t have a tub, you see. So I went into my bedroom and saw the wardrobe and realised it was big enough for me to fit in. So I thought the best thing I can do is turn it into a bathtub as well. I then sneezed.”

How the contraption works is as follows—you keep your clothes hanging in there as normal when not in the bath.

When you want a bath (daily is wise, unless you want to smell bad) then you take every single item of clothing out one by one.

You then yank the wardrobe over and fill up the gaping open bit with water and bubble bath stuff. Then you have your bath.

After your bath, you’ll then need to manouvre the wardrobe bathtub over to an open window. At which point you must lift the contraption with all your might—heave it up against the open window and get all the water in it out of the open window.

Please note, there are several issues we’ve noted with this approach:

  • Lifting the wardrobe bathtub often leads to slipped discs, dislocated shoulder blades, and/or a hernia.
  • It’s usually impossible to lift it by yourself, so you’ll need to get someone in to help you. You’ll be in the nude during that activity, so maybe throw on a dressing gown before you seek assistance (such as from random strangers in the street, whom you may need to yell at from the window for assistance).
  • Roughly 20% of the water actually leaves your apartment via the window. Most will simply splosh back all over your flat’s floor and seep through into your downstairs neighbour’s place. This will enrage them.
  • This is also all a real pain in the arse every time you take a bath, leading to many injuries and general belligerence with neighbours.

However, this is the price you have to pay for a bath these days. So, tough it out to enjoy a nice hot relaxing soak each evening.

Followed by much agony, cursing, acrimony, and hatred of the wardrobe bathtub.

Is There a Wardrobe Shower?

Why, of course! If the above all sounds far too hellish, we’re working on a shower alternative.

This’ll be exactly the same with your wardrobe, but it’ll function as an all-in-one clothes holding implement and shower.

Admittedly, it’s a better idea than the wardrobe bathtub ever was. And much less cumbersome.

However, do be aware there’s no room for a plug so the water will just pour down and flood your flat to a far greater extent than the other option.

So, up to you really. Which one would you find less vexing? Let us know, then send us your cash! We’ll forward on the item.

We promise not to drop the wardrobe or anything before it reaches you.

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