The Professional Moron office here in Manchester is struggling with disastrous financial issues.
So, we’ve had to sell out and let businesses that are run much better than ours promote themselves. As such, this is the first sponsored post of many.
Fear not! We only allow businesses with highly reputable reputations to hawk their wares on this website. Buy, buy, buy!
Dr. Bob’s Got You Covered!
Here at Bob’s Barmy Botox Boutique, we put the “bo” into Botox.
With my patented enthusiasm practices, I make sure to put the positivity into your botox experience. “But how does it work?!” Well, I hear your screams for justification. And it’s simple!
- You book into the Bob’s Barmy Botox clinic.
- You get your injection(s).
- Myself and/or other employees roar “Bo!” into your face whilst you’re injected!
This level of confidence boosting bellowing works wonders on our client’s fears and scruples, instantly banishing said fears and scruples.
You’ll also be given three shots of vodka before your injections. AND my patented potent Botox mix of botulin also includes:
- More vodka!
- Industrial grade bleach!
- Cinnamon (for seasoning)!
You’ll be flying as high as a kite the moments before your injections with out 30cm needle! And you’ll be flying as high as THE MOON right after your stay at Dr. Bob’s Barmy Botox Boutique!
Please note, the comedown after your Botox injections will be catastrophic and may leave you catatonic for multiple days.
If your job involves standing up or moving in general, you’ll need to book several days off to recover. Or, you know, just pull a sickie!
Why Use Dr. Bob’s Barmy Botox Boutique?
Sure, there are loads of Botox clinics around and they’re all cheaper, safer, and more efficient than my practice.
But! They don’t say “Bo!” at you! Can you live without that in your life? Of course you can’t!
Also, free alcohol and morphine! None of our competitors provide such relaxants prior to your injections!
Don’t miss out! Get blasted and look absolutely incredible as you stagger about drooling in the immediate aftermath of your session!
About Dr. Bob!
Hi there, haha! I’m your friendly Botox expert Dr. Bob Smith! I’m here to put you at ease! So, here’s a little bit about myself:
- I’m 29 years old, divorced, with three kids, and I refuse to pay child support fees! I think if they’re poor, they should work harder!!
- I love injecting Botox so much I sleep with my needles at night!
- I’ve had 335 Botox injections since 2018, rendering my beautiful face so perfect people literally faint upon sight of me!
- My favourite food is soup, because I can’t move my lips after all those Botox injections and must consume foodstuffs through a straw!
- My favourite colour is red, because it’s the colour of DEATH!
In 2019, I got an online certificate masterclass in Botox injections and opened my clinic in mid-2020, right in the middle of the pandemic!
Business sure was tough at first! In the opening three months, I only injected three people. And they all fled the building terrified! One was even hallucinating about giant pink elephants!!
Since then, I’ve refined my practices, got myself checked out with a psychologist, and I can confirm my business endeavours are pure (if a little misguided).
Sign-Up to the Barmy Boutique!
So, come on down today and inject your face with botulin!
Still a little nervous? Well, I do everything within my powers to make sure my customers feel welcome in my practice.
So, here’s a quote from Adolf Hitler to ease you into your day:
“The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence.”
So, come on down today and get a needle jammed into your face!
It’ll make you look 20 years younger, it’ll only cost you £500, and you’ll have members of the opposite sex hurling themselves at you!