Struggling celebrities like Batman and No-Face from Spirited Away can now endorse bins! That way they can earn lucrative income from the bin-based world of trash and effluence.
Whether you’re a soap star out of fashion or you’ve been dead for 30 years and need a career resurrection, bins are the answer!
Get in touch TODAY with our team of experts and we’ll get YOUR FACE put on the side of a bin. And then? More fame awaits! It’s binilliant!
Endorse Bins & Save Your Career
“My career was dead and buried. No one liked bats after one too many Batman films and so I was struggling for work. It was tough getting gigs opening budget supermarkets, never mind massive blockbuster movies! Then Celebrity Endorsement Bins Ltd. came to the rescue and saved my career. Now I no longer have to sleep in the gutter. I’ve got a bin instead. I owe them my life.” Batman
What have Batman, Elvis Presley, and Lord Byron all have in common? They all used bins at one point in their lives!
It’s an important distinction. But it’s worth reminding everywhere here in tedious details EXACTLY what bins are for:
- Putting rubbish in.
- Sometimes throwing something towards the bin… but missing it! Thus necessitating a need to bend over, pick the pit of trash up, tut-tutting, and then putting the thing properly in the trash and vowing never to throw a bit of trash at the bin again without missing like an idiot.
- Emptying out the bin.
Now, imagine that excitement with a picture of ELVIS FRIGGIN’ PRESLEY on the side of the bin! That’s superb for the following reasons:
- Career boost for Elvis
- The best bin in the world (“Uh huh huh”)
But if Elvis isn’t your thing, then here’s a look at everyone on offer so you can get that binilliant design of your dreams!
The List of Bins Endorsed By Desperate Celebs
Celebrities are queuing up to get on our bins! Except the dead ones.
But we contacted them via Ouija board and many confirmed they’d be DELIGHTED to appear all over the bins. Here’s a list of our existing, and upcoming, range:
- Genghis Khan
- Georgy Formby
- Ming the Merciless
- Keith Chegwin
- Margaret Thatcher
- Marlon Brando
- Ginger Rogers
- Betty Boop
Each bin is branded with the picture of the celebrity on the bin and comes equipped with many trademarked soundbites.
Whenever you put rubbish in the bin, it’ll spurt back one liners and catchphrases. You can coo and swoon like an idiot at such remarks before continuing on with your day.
The bins are also designed to secrete radioactive waste we’ve accrued in a black market side hustle, gradually poisoning the local environment leading to grotesque mutations, deformations, and acute radiation poisoning. Buy one of our bins and, rest assured, death is 100% certain.
However, do note the radioactive waste DOESN’T affect the highly effective cost of our bins, which start at an excellent £100 per bin!
Sounds a risky venture to me.
Arnie could crush a bin with 1 hand, then sue you!
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Big Arnie couldn’t sue a wasp.
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Hmm, like you could? pfffft!!!!
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You want to see me try!? As I will! I shall sue a wasp!
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Hope he doesn’t sting you and die before you get his $$$$$!
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Crap bags! Arnold owes you and I a lot of dollars, you know it.
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What about the wasps?
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They usually take autumn and winter off.
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AH!
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Affluence from effluence!
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Influence the effluence. That’s my motto.
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Well, you’ve certainly influenced mine. (My family does not thank you!)
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