Bouncy Castle Enterprises Corporation Ltd. is a conglomerate group invested in the vested interests of subsidiaries pertaining to large inflatable structures on which children engage in jumping-based ebullience.

On said items, it is common to hear the aforementioned children to announce phrases such as “Whoopee!” or “Kawabunga, dude!”

Our merciless corporate goal is to sell bouncy castles at inflated prices to maximise capital, crush competitors, and dominate the market.

Bouncy Castle Enterprises Corporation Ltd. Puts the Rapture Into Castles With a Capacity for Elasticity-Based Recoil

Castles and bouncing delineate within the frameworks of sequential structures aligned within coordinated methodology for strategic production.

Bouncy Castle Enterprises Corporation Ltd. has, thus, marketed products to consumers under the guises of:

• Bounce House
• Bouncies
• Moon Bounces
• Boingalow
• Astrojump
• Jolly Jump
• Jumpy Wumpy
• Bouncy Wouncy Happy Wappy Doo-Dah

The Bouncy Wouncy Happy Wappy Doo-Dah, across Q1-Q4 in 2022, acquired £30 million in capital through a violent marketing campaign of:

• Leaflets
• 120 second unskippable YouTube advertisements
• £120,000 budget on PPC
• Search engine optimisation
• Blackmailing competitors

Our chief market competitor is with the Bouncy Castle Corporation Enterprises Ltd., which maintains a 30% market stranglehold as opposed to Bouncy Castle Enterprises Corporation Ltd.’s 29% market stranglehold.

It is of the utmost, staggering, incomprehensible importance the group closes this 1% deficit, thus ensuring our annual revenue rises by £500,000, thus ensuring our CEO can get a massive bonus and add to his pointless wealth.

To achieve this goal, we shall introduce the Super Bouncy Wouncy Happy Wappy Doo-Dah inflatable to the market in Q4 2023.

Introducing the Super Bouncy Wouncy Happy Wappy Doo-Dah Inflatable Castle

The asset was in production for 12 months and faced strenuous R&D tests to match the UK’s construction and safety standards laws, as delineated within the Health and Safety Executive’s Bouncy castles and other play inflatables: safety advice.

“HSE supports two industry inspection schemes for inflatables run by PIPA and ADiPs. Most play inflatables will therefore display either a numbered PIPA tag or an ADiPs declaration of compliance (DoC) to show they comply with British Standard BS EN 14960.”

British Standard BS EN 14960: 2013 Inflatable play equipment, safety requirements and test methods, thus, indicates:

“BS EN 14960-3 discusses inflatable play equipment. BS EN 14960-3 specifies additional safety requirements for snappies for which the primary activities are climbing and sliding. BS EN 14960-3 sets measures to address risks and to minimise accidents to users for those involved in the design, manufacture, and supply of inflatable play equipment.”

Stipulations include the need for:

• Inflated walls on at least three sides of the inflatable.
• Crash mats to soften otherwise bone-crunching falls.
• Supervision by adults during “play” (i.e. bouncing on the, aforementioned, inflatable).

Despite these strict specifications, the Super Bouncy Wouncy Happy Wappy Doo-Dah may appear to breach safety standards.

Any accusations as such will result in a legal case for defamation for being really mean.

As a cost-saving measure, there is merely ONE inflatable wall to the bouncy castle and the supplied crash mat is a mere 30cm by 50cm. Children (and adults) intending to use the the Super Bouncy Wouncy Happy Wappy Doo-Dah will be instructed to aim all falls towards the crash mat previously indicated.

Bouncy Castle Enterprises Corporation Ltd. has merely extrapolated a legal loophole to provide a product that embraces:

• Casual merriment.
• Mirth.
• Enjoyment.
• Bouncing-based frolicking.
• Propelment.
• A means for beleaguered parents to shut their children up, at least for around half an hour.

Super Bouncy Wouncy Happy Wappy Doo-Dah will be priced £100 per hour and is part of the group’s budget range for lazy, poor, working class scumbags.