After our recent Commando “Let off some steam, Bennett” romp along we’re now back… with more Commando!

And more Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Arguably there’s a bit of oversaturation for Arnold Noises on here recently, but don’t stop us now. As this time we’re looking at “I lied” and the wordplay potential for noun. Hurray!

Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied

The original in all its brutal glory. Talk about great life lessons. Lie to people and then drop them off cliffs with a steely gaze, kids!

I was economical with the truth

If Commando was a sophisticated and intellectual type viewing experience, this would be the wording. Indeed.

One was prevaricating

If Commando was for an upper class audience, this would be the wording. Rather!

I was bullshitting

And this is the version for the working class scumbags of the world! Plus, a big more action movie friendly. Explosions and swear words—perfection.

Thigh lied

His thigs lied? Perhaps this is Arnold showing off about the brutish nature of his mighty man muscles.

Wry lied

Well, yeah, it was pretty wry you lied about it. Another way of describing your deception is an act of positively sadistic lunacy.

Guy lied

He’s referring himself in third person now?! Unless there’s someone called Guy in this film (and we’re pretty sure there isn’t) we see no other explanation.

Pie lied

The pie lied!? That’s when you know the woke mob has won… when THE PIES are lying to you! Oh my days…

I cried

Yeah, Big Arnie wasn’t notable for his realistic floods of tears in his movies. When not blowing stuff up or ripping people limb from limb… he was in floods of tears? No. Ditch this one, it’s only for the romantic comedy Commando remake.

I died

No. Big Arnie does not die in films. Unrealistic, don’t break tradition.

I dyed (my hair)

Well, he wore a wig in Junior (where he played a pregnant man/woman… we’ve not actually seen that film). So why not dye his hair, too? A Terminator with dyed pink hair is an excellent disguise!

Eye spy?

Eye spy generally isn’t a game you should impulsively burst into when you’re dangling someone over a cliff. Really

I’m wide

Yes, Big Arnie is rather on the large, wide side of things as a bodybuilding legend and broad type of person in general.

I’m snide

Well, yes, you are a bit snide if you suggest you won’t kill someone but then drop them off a cliff headfirst. That’s somewhat taunting and nasty, wouldn’t you say?

I’m Clyde

He isn’t Clyde. Arnold plays Colonel John Matrix in Commando. Quite where he got Clyde from instead we’ll never know.

I’m the bride

A nod back to Junior (1994) again. Unfortunately, there are no pictures of Big Arnie in a wedding dress available. If only something like AI could imagine that…

So, we asked AI to generate a few Big Arnie in a wedding dress mock ups. The above is probably a 3/10 for effort and clarity in its endeavour.

That’s a bit better! Why was this concept never used in a Big Arnold comedy film?! Would have worked wonders. Oh well… Junior will have to do.

I’m cockeyed

You will be cockeyed if you try and watch that guy plunge to his doom. He goes at a hell of a rate of knots.

And finally…

Woe betide

Woe betide if you drop someone off a cliff? No, you get away with that in action movies. Murder isn’t a concept that exists for protagonists to navigate around. Hurray!