Some indie bands are too generic for their own good.
The Sheds was one such band. Rising to prominence in 2014 at a time when indie bands all had a chorus variation on gibberish such as “ooH ooh oh oh!“, they were doomed to failure… except in one sect of society.
For The Sheds found solace in the world of gardening enthusiasts, who delighted in their storage-based songs and albums focussed on keeping spades nice and secure in a lovely shed. Rock and roll!!
The Sheds: Fame and Fortune Amongst Gardening Enthusiasts
Born into a working class family, lead singer Jeremy Plant had a father who was a shed builder. His mother was a shed builder, too, and his brother was also (indeed) a shed builder.
Expected to join the longstanding family trade, Plant rejected it all in pursuit of his dreams—writing moderately catchy, enormously derivative indie tunes that are generic to the extreme but, when reaching the right delusional fanbase, the work of genius when comprehended by inadequate minds.
Thus, Plant began to learn guitar in 2010.
He couldn’t do that, so he took to singing and songwriting instead. With a pinch of dismal wit he named his band The Sheds (because he was living in the one in his parent’s garden at the time) and enlisted local musicians to cobble together some songs.
The band’s biggest hits (the SONGS OF A GENERATION) were thrashed out by Plant one afternoon after a soggy Pot Noodle sandwich and extra large can of Red Bull.
Era defining tunes such as:
- I Bet You Look Good On the Lawn Mower
- This Charming Lawn Mower
- Lawn Mowers Will Tear Us Apart
- Some Lawn Mowers Are Bigger Than Others
- R U My Lawn Mower?
- I Wanna Be Your Lawn Mower Owner
- Take My Lawn Mower Out
- Seven Nation Bud Union
- Avant Gardener
- Common First Early Potatoes
- Bitter Sweet Germination
- Can’t Stand Mulch Now
These tracks formed The Shed is Dead (2015) the seminal indie album that launched The Sheds to superstardom (in the gardening community).
Although a mainstream bomb and critical disaster, The Shed is Dead found its audience in the gardening charts where it spent 133 weeks at #1.
When interviewed by Trundling Pebbles magazine in 2016, Plant had this to say about his global success:
“Some people say my songs are shit. No. They’re not shit. You’re shit! I’m the one living in a mansion with thirty acres of land to my name. I’m the one who wrote I Bet You Look Good on the Lawn Mower. I’m the one who engaged the gardening community to rock out and take up drugs. Me! The voice of a generation. Anyone criticising my is a sack of compost left out in the rain.”
Such wonderful humility is what earmarks Jeremy Plant as the cult genius of indie music who has a $50 million fortune.
The Sheds promptly rested on their laurels and haven’t released a single song since 2015, although the rumour mill suggests Plant has finally got off his entitled, lazy backside to cobble together another album.
Interviewed exclusively for this feature, we asked Plant of what he intends for his next album:
“There’s this concept album I’ve got where my legion of fans buy the album and it’s in a plant pot. They’ve got to GROW the plant and then after a few months the album is released by the sprouting plant. I’ll call the album Plant Pot. It’s either that or writing the usual batch of love songs because the missus just left me because I’ve been doing too much gardening. So maybe I’ll call it Plant Pot of Love and hire an orchestra. Only a full set of classically trained musicians can match the might of my musical genius.”
Backlash From the Lawn Mowing Community
Although the gardening community took to The Sheds’ music with wild abandon, it must be noted the lawn mowing community wasn’t as enamoured.
The British Lawn Mowing Organisation (BLMO) took extreme offense at the nature of the songs. President of BLMO, John Smith, released in a 2016 press statement:
“Mr. Plant is singing sick and depraved lyrics in R U My Lawn Mower? and it seems his fans are incapable of realising that. Like they have some sort of mental blind spot. He’s singing about wanting to date the bloody lawn mower, for Christ’s sake, and they allow this music to play on the radio!?! The world’s gone mad! I say we must ban this sick filth NOW!”
Mr. Plant responded to this statement by releasing his own statement:
“The lyrics aren’t intended to be taken literally. For example, in Lawn Mowers Will Tear Us Apart the song is about some poor unfortunate getting shredded to bits when his lawn mower lands on him. I don’t wish that on my worst enemy… not even Mr. Smith from The British Lawn Mowing Organisation. It’s just a song, you sad sack. Get over yourself.”
Despite Mr. Smith’s anger, it must be noted The Sheds caused a threefold increase in UK lawn mower sales and ensured many excellently mowed lawns the years subsequent to the album’s release.
