You can tell society is in decline (due to leftists) when there’s a lack of cheese poetry available. Once a fine and regular staple of the literary world, now… well, nothing!
Well, we’re here to redress that balance. It’s another beautiful Friday and it’s time to embrace the cheese.
Cheese Haiku—Dairy Words to Melt Your Heart
There are many cheeses. Thus, it is our goal to cover an array behold. Prepare to be moved to dairy-based tears.
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California Cheesin’
All the cheese is yellow,
And the curd is yellow, too,
California cheesin’… on a winter’s dairy.
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Cheese Trees
Trees they are pretty,
I wish they were made of cheese,
That would solve various hunger-related socioeconomic issues.
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Sleazy Cheese
My unpopular opinion is cheese is sleazy,
It makes me feel a little wheezy,
Made worse if it’s a little bit breezy.
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Cheese & Peas
What’s better cheese or peas?
Why, cheese and peas of course!
It’s better than a bout of gangrene!
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Cheese, Please
The problem with modern life is no one has any manners,
We need more traditional values!
Such as cheese.
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Keys Made of Cheese
It may sound stupid but my keys are made of cheese,
Brie-based keys are the best,
Although the problem is they keep melting in my pants.
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OMG I Love Cheese
Oh my gawd I just love cheese,
It makes me weep on my knobbly knees,
My family just looks on and goes, “Oh, jeez…”
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Bees Makes Cheese
Not many people know bees make cheese,
The idea they make honey is a lie,
Like claiming you can live off only pie.
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Sneezing Cheese
I love cheese so much that when I sneeze,
Dairy comes flying out of my nose,
People think I’m in my death roes.
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Cheese Expertise
I’m the most knowledgeable person in the world about cheese,
But guess what I’m also fluent in Japanese!
I am fun at parties.
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Speaking Like Dairy
I’m the most knowledgeable person in the world about cheese,
But guess what I’m also fluent in Japanese!
I am fun at parties.
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Cheese Fees
I run a shop with a bad reputation,
My fees for cheese make my customers rage,
I set my rottweiler on them.
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Cheese Fleas
Did you know cheese fleas exist!?
When they bite you your veins fill with dairy,
It’s not very gouda for your health.
First of all, let me comfort you with the understanding that your wobbly kneed weeping is the very LEAST of what makes your family look on and go, “Oh, jeese.”
Now that you feel better, allow me to direct you to a masterpiece of literary laughter by Willard Espy, titled An Almanac of Words at Play, in which is included a poem right up your, um, alley named “What a Friend We Have in Cheeses.”
I tried to search it out to paste in for you here, but our split-second access to everything from photos of yet another cute kitten to the most boringly obscure location on the planet does not yet include the text of this masterpiece which, along with all other 364 entries in the book, I predict you will find grate, just grate.
Yours Sincerely,
Archibald C. Cheesit
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I can see haiku cheese being an industry favourite going forward. Gap in the market.
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Perfectly enormous gap ~ so big that, if one did not look discerningly, it might appear there was no market at all!
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Hahaha, the last 2 are hilarious.
Still, are these real Haikus, or just a wheel of cheesy poems?
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I’ll let you into a secret… I didn’t follow the traditional haiku structure of three lines, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third. I cheated a tad.
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Oh good! I prefer that.
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