Some musicians like other musicians so much they form a tribute act. Such is the way of things with The Brietles, formed in Doncaster in 2021 whom now tour on a regular basis with a Beatles-based gimmick.

One that is brie. Gigs are resplendent in the cheese and stink out many a live venue, but with brie sales skyrocketing thanks to this band, and congestive heart failure also surging in popularity, what’s not to love?

Indeed! The band’s reworking of Let it Be to Let it Brie has found considerable fame, notoriety, and even triggered rioting amongst some diehard Beatles fanboys. Thus, let us explore the successful successfulness of this most brilliant of tribute bands.

Trombones and Cheese in the World of The Brietles

The tribute act came to be in 2018 when best mates Jon Lenin and Paul McDonald’s had one-too-many in the local pub. Boozy and weepy, they staggered into a local budget supermarket and picked up a load of reduced to clear brie. Lumbering home they stuck on The Beatles, began roaring along to the lyrics, and ate lots of cheese.

Lenin told us, in an exclusive interview, this.

“While munching through another block of foul-smelling brie, I thought I were having a brain haemorrhage. Turns out it were an idea! A brilliant one at that! I yelled out to the wife at 11:30pm, ‘Doreen! I’m forming a tribute band to The Beatles! Give the lads a call NOW, you daft woman!’ The wife reminded me I can’t play no instruments and that ‘the lads’ were already here because Paul where here and, yeah, from that The Brietles were born.”

Lenin learned to play the drums, but was useless. Instead, he took up the trombone.

“I realised if everyone in the band we’re playing trombones and eating cheese, specifically brie, it’d be a dead good, never seen before, proper belting exercise in musical excellence. We started rehearsing and within two months could make Hey Jude sound bangin’. Reet champion! Why, I were so excited I shat my pants!”

Alongside co-founder Paul, who refused to speak to us for this feature and threatened us with grievous bodily harm, The Brietles hired two additional members. This being Paul’s son Dave and Jon’s daughter Pingu (named after the claymation penguin character).

Hitting the Road With Cheesy Hits

With their first venue in Rochdale playing to a crowd of three, The Brietles wowed onlookers with an inventive range of trombone honking and free slices of brie. All those big hits were covered:

• Here Comes the Brie
• Let it Brie
• Brie!
• Ob-La-Brie, Ob-La-Brie
• Get Brie
• She Loves Brie
• All You Need is Brie
• I Want to Hold Your Brie

The cheese element soon became a popular aspect of the live shows, most notably with dairy enthusiasts (turophiles). Cheese lovers would often attend the shows simply to get free brie.

Once The Brietles cottoned on to this freeloading, cheese lovers were banned from live events. This led to rioting in several major UK cities from enraged turophiles, bringing a certain element of notoriety to the tribute band.

Dealing With Screaming Fans

Despite the level of blind hatred levelled at them from turophiles, The Brietles still enjoyed a moderate amount of dedicated fans.

Indeed, moderate success brought a minor following of diehard followers. Soon, at least 10 or 11 of them would clog every gig with hysterical female fan screaming.

Being curmudgeonly old farts, Jon and Paul didn’t like that one bit and soon sought to introduce anti-screaming tactics. This included having security guards forcibly remove any fans at concerts whom:

• Scream of shriek with wild abandon
• Show above average signs of enjoyment
• Sneeze
• Refuse to eat any brie

Back to that EXCLUSIVE interview and Jon Lenin told us:

“The screaming was just goddamn annoying. I didn’t sign up for that. I was in it for the music, not to have me ears ringing 24/7.”

He later qualified his statements as fans were upset by his statement:

“Look, if you come to our shows just SHURRUP and let us get on with it, you bellends!”

Lenin’s comments were later compared to John Lennon’s “bigger than Jesus” controversy in America, with The Brietles shows subjected to vandalism, outbreaks of violence, and all members being pelted with Lancashire bomb cheese.

Cheese Fields Forever? Retiring the Act

In late 2024 the act officially packed up shop due to all members suffering from PTSD due to ongoing abuse. Additionally, the cost of free brie at every event was a colossal financial gain. Jon Lenin told us:

“Yeah, I mean I’m retired now and I’m spending all my pension on bloody brie! That is not how I figured it’d be, so it were time to call it a day.”

The Brietles had one final show, which was abandoned early after police stormed the event and arrested attendees whom continued to pelt the band members with Lancashire bomb cheese.