Hire an Explosion Enterprises Ltd. (HAEEL) prides itself on offering the finest explosions known to not just mankind but also humankind.

Our explosions are second to none (except The Big Bang which, to be fair, was massive). If your organisation (business) or family (weddings, funerals, both etc.) need an explosion, you can hire one today for the mightiest of bangs on the slightest of budgets.

Hire Different Types of Explosions to Enrich Your Life

Please note: The below sound effect is for practical demonstration purposes only and doesn’t represent the actual “boom” type noises that HAEEL products are capable of.

BOOM! That says it all. If it’s explosions you want, we’ve got them. We offer:

• Big ones
• Small ones
• Medium-sized ones
• Questionable ones
• Massive bastards
• Earth shakers
• Doomsday devices

The doomsday devices are our speciality. We’ve never even set one off, but rest assured! They’re mental.

Our team of experts is on hand with explosive materials (TNT. Semtex etc.) to create our explosions as and when you need ’em (them)! Meet the team:

• Dave: CEO of HAEEL and all around good guy. Only divorced three times, he has six kids and his favourite food is Marmite and curry lasagne.
• Jeff: 18 year old son of Dave and son of Dave’s wife Diane. Jeff is confused a lot of the time, probably has undiagnosed autism, but Dave don’t like to think about things like that and feeds Jeff a Marmite and curry lasagne three times a week. REET PROPER!
• Dave: Convicted murderer Dave was released just last month after 40 years behind bars! He’s a little slow and doesn’t like sunlight, but just loves the big booms and also dribbles noticeably.

HAEEL isn’t, technically, a legal business but then what business is technically legal? Fish & Chips chippies shops? Not on your nelly. No, sir. They’re about as trustworthy as a shed repair company that has never seen a shed.

But we’ve seen many explosions. Plenty. They’re big, they’re loud, hot, and they go high into the sky. We do them. And we’ll make sure we blow up whatever you need blowing up! Except dodgy stuff. We only blow up “normal” things (buildings, sheds, expired cheese etc.).

Customer Testimonials: The VERY BEST Explosions on the Market

“Hired them to demolish my shed and they ended up blowing up my neighbour’s shed. After I pointed out that weren’t my shed, they came back the next day and blew up my shed, plus the same neighbour’s house. These guys are brill. 11 out of 5.” Fred from Bolton of Greater Manchester

“Paid them to blow up me husband but they turned up, took me money and blew up me ex-husband by mistake. Oh well, he were 65 anyway not much time left on the clock.” Freda from Bolton of Greater Manchester

“THESE BASTARDS BLEW UP ME CABBAGE PATCH IM GONNA SUE” The Cabbage Patch Company from Bolton of Greater Manchester

“Needed them to blow up an old warehouse what were in the way of a new warehouse. They turned up and blew up my house, then blew up my shed, then blew up my wife’s potpourri. I pointed out I didn’t want my wife’s potpourri blowing up and the CEO said to me that potpourri is ‘potexplosiony’ and he laughed and ran off… 1/5.” Michael from Bolton of Greater Manchester