The Anti-Eclipse Organisation Ltd. exists to make it clear that eclipses exist to force their deranged worldview onto the universe (and they are also stupid).

For all many millions of years has the Moon carried out a four-minute hostage crisis, forcing Earth’s inhabitants into the shade and ruining their days a bit. The solution is clear. The Moon must be destroyed and The Anti-Eclipse Organisation Ltd. recommends blasting it out of the sky with many nuclear weapons.

Why We’re All Falling for the Cosmic Grift

The Moon is the local celestial mafia randomly holding the Earth to ransom. Why should we all be forced into a blackout every 50 years or so just because of an erratic orbit aligning over the Sun?

The Sun (the star, not the tabloid newspaper) is utterly blame here. The Anti-Eclipse Organisation Ltd. recognises that and admonishes the Sun of any wrongdoing.

It’s the BASTARD Moon that’s the core problem. And it does it every 50 years, forcing humanity to panic buy £140 millions worth of low-quality cardboard classes (or just putting a colander over their head).

It’s Time to Take Action!

The Anti-Eclipse Organisation Ltd. is leading the charge against the Moon’s disgusting tactics. We’ve got some really nasty ideas to get our revenge and here they all are:

• Strongly worded leaflet campaign: An aggressive, pompous leaflet campaign will bring public attention to the eclipse crisis.
• Panic-mongering through communist claims: The Moon isn’t a communist, but we’re claiming it is anyway to drum up a sense of moral panic.
• Blowing up the Moon: The only sensible solution for Earth’s residents. Only the total destruction of the celestial body will save humanity from further eclipses.

Ultimately, blowing up the Moon will resolve all of the world’s problems. This means there’ll be no more eclipses and it’ll also stop a load of stupid people from staring at the eclipse with their eyes.

Instead, they can simply just stare at the Sun as normal and learn their lesson that way.

The Anti-Eclipse Organisation Ltd. is currently lobbying the UK government with bribes to persuade funding for the Moon destruction project. We shall report back before 2050 (the next scheduled eclipse) on our progress.

Proudly Sponsored by Klogged: The World’s Automatic Toilet Unblocker

The Anti-Eclipse Organisation Ltd. is proudly sponsored by Klogged, the industry-leading robotic toilet unblocking assistant. Klogged is proudly sponsoring us in our mission to end eclipses. Their CEO told us this:

“As the CEO of Klogged, I am proud to be saving the future of humanity by ensuring eclipses (and clogged toilets) are no more. It makes me proud to realise I am saving the universe while pocketing a six figure salary, even though I don’t really work very much to be honest. The robots do all the heavy lifting for us. Cheers!” CEO

If you need a toilet maid, then Klogged is 100% your best bet. Stop getting on your hands and knees to clean up that stuff, buy a robotic toilet contraption. For every Klogged sale, Klogged is proud to donate 1% of its monthly earnings towards the The Anti-Eclipse Organisation Ltd. foundation.