In the world of gaming, a sect of the gamer community is convinced that playing games on MAXIMUM DIFFICULTY determines one’s masculine worth.

Play a game on easy mode? You’d be better off DEAD, you vile scumbag!

But today’s Hard Mode fanatic is confused as to why, despite maintaining this abrasive toxicity, human females aren’t lining up to date him. Hmmm… let’s see if we can help him bag a babe.

Gaming Hard Mode and the Joys of Toxic Gamer Bros

Listen here you NOOBIE SCUM! I’m a high end spec PC gamer and PS5 owner and this makes me vastly superior to you, agony aunt, cos I know you own a NINTENDO SHIT 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!

People like you MAKE ME SICK!

But I’ve got nowhere else to turn, so I need your help. Not that the NINTENDO SHIT 2 can run the games I play, because my PC has the HIGHEST END SPECS IMAGINABLE, but trust me I play them and PEASANTS like you can’t LOL. I play these AMAZING games on the HARDEST difficult mode available!

ANYONE THAT DOESN’T PLAY GAMES ON THE HARDEST DIFFICULTY IS A WORTHLESS SACK OF SUBHUMAN BASTARD!

I do this because I am just good enough to do it. I’m just better than everyone else.

But BECAUSE OF FEMINISM!!!! AND THE LEFT!!! I CAN’T GET A DATE because WOMEN DO NOT RECOGNISE HARD MODE GAMING ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS AN ALPHA MALE QUALITY. This is a disgrace! It is DISGUSTING that someone as amazing and accomplished, as nice, as calm and collected and pleasant, as I am CANNOT GET A DATE BECAUSE OF THESE… FLIPPING FEMINIST FILTH!!!!!!

I wanted to use the REAL f word there, too, not FLIPPING! But I’m SUCH A GENTLEMAN that I did not! This is how mature and superior I am to other men! Most other men would have put the F word and sent you a dick pic or something like that. NOT ME! Too gentlemanly for that!

NOT THAT FLIPPING FEMINIST FILTH TAKE ANY NOTE OF IT! I put it right there FRONT AND CENTRE of my dating profile on Tinder:

“HI FEMINISTS I’M XANDER 🍆 25. TRUE GAMER. High End Spec PC Gamer and PS5 owner. Play ALL MY GAMES ON HARD MODE 💪!!! I know you’re impressed. 😉 I know you’ll be wanting my number (😉) but I only hold out for the HOTTEST (🥵) and most exceptional women (🙆‍♀️) who can hold their own AGAINST ME and MEET MY STANDARDS by playing on MAXIMUM DIFFICULTY so unless you can do that you can pretty much piss off tbh not my problem SMH 🙄”

Anyway, the mods on Tinder have warned me to edit the profile description or I’ll be “banned” and I need to remove the topless pics I put on my problem WTF smh.

THIS IS WHAT THE WOKE HAVE DONE TO SOCIETY!!!!

Why am I not being acknowledged as the hero I am!? I completed ELDEN RING on the HARDEST SETTING and then didn’t sleep and completed Bloodborne and Lies of P all back to back, all WITHOUT SLEEP, and all powered by Monster energy drinks the EXTRA LARGE cans with maximum sugar!

I am one hell of a catch FFS! What the hell!?

Xander

Hi there, Xander! Gosh, what a delightful young man you are. It fills our hearts with joy to see such an intelligent, polite, and combative set of personality traits.

However, to knit pick ever so slightly, may we postulate that you don’t come across as angry enough.

Women find men in fits of blind, immature, reckless rage very attractive as it’s a domineering quality. You can add audio notes to dating profiles these days, so we suggest you upload several fits of your outraged roaring to your profile to endear yourself to the ladies. Something like this:

“GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GARRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Over and over. Real ear-piercing, tinnitus inducing stuff. Women (“babes”) and other human females will listen to that and think, “What a manly son of a bitch!” You’ll be married before August 2025, guaranteed!