Okay, so it looks like there’s an issue with our computer systems rather than the actual website. As we’ve been reliably (or, maybe, unreliably) informed the pictures are all still there and we went into a wild panic over nothing.
Drat and double drat! We were informed by several of our frothing fanbase about this, who also pointed out that Santa’s weekly column seems to have disappeared.
We’ve actually shunned Santa’s recent piece as, had we published it here, Professional Moron would almost certainly have been shut down. So, instead, here’s a piece about things which are sandwiches, but sandwiches you really would not want to eat!
5. The Burger Splodge
We would eat this if we were REALLY hungry but it would be with a great sense of dismay and inner hatred. Everything seems to have been prised steadfastly into the unhappy bread and then jammed down with a grubby fist.
The result? One major splodge, man! Also, major unhealthy or what? Notice the bacon at the bottom of this thing, which is already dripping with gristle and processed cheese. Go away, burger splodge. We don’t like you.
4. Donut Sandwich
Yes indeed, this is a donut with a fried egg with fried bacon. Now, just to put this into perspective, donuts are bad for you. So are fried eggs. So is fried bacon.
Consequently this is possibly the most unhealthy sandwich ever. And sickly, too. Who in their right mind would eat this willingly? Obese people? Yes.
3. Donut Sandiwich 2
Could this possibly be another donut sandwich? It certainly looks like it! We aren’t warming to the idea here.
The only way this thing could be more unhealthy is if they dribbled syrup all over the thing. Then it would be the Syrup and Donut Sandwich. Of course, we’d certainly buy it after this development.
Better than the Pot Noodle sandwich, we suppose.
2. Marmite Man
No, this is not Mr. Wapojif. No, it is not Truman Trumanson or any of the other Professional Moron staff. It’s a picture that really amused us so we thought we’d put it up here. For a laugh!
And, you know, Marmite goes on bread and bread is used with most sandwiches. So there is a link. However tenuous.
1. The Food Splat
We’re not really sure what to call this. We’re classing such weirdness as the “food splat“.
It’s clearly possibly egg, and onion. That’s got to be some sort of meat with it. Certainly not going to eat it, that’s for sure. We’d say, “Goodbye, gross looking thing! Goodbye!” And then we’d fling it at a chav.