The Honey Badger: Behold Nature’s Psychopath

Honey badger
The type of sign you see when honey badgers are about.

Everyone’s bloody terrified of Great White Sharks, lions, tigers, giraffes, poisonous spiders, snakes, and grizzly bears. You may consider all of the aforementioned to be the ultimate nutcases of the natural world, yet these animals tend to just go about their duties and do what they have to in order to  survive.

The eponymous Honey Badger, however, is a tad different. The word “fear” does not exist for this beast – such is its survival instinct it will, it seems literally, attack absolutely bloody anything it stumbles across. This species is, without doubt, the Begbie of the natural world. Don’t know who Begbie is? Watch Trainspotting.

The Honey Badger

For a start don’t think these furry gits are dumb; they’ve been observed manipulating their environment to get at stuff. Food usually. As you may be able to tell by the picture accompanying this post, the Honey Badger likes food.

Although favouring bee honey (which they wrench from live bee’s nests, of course, they don’t just head off to the shops) they will, nonetheless, also attack young lions, leopards, wild dogs, poisonous snakes, each other, insects, frogs, tortoises, rodents, turtles, monitor lizards, birds, and (if they absolutely have to) they’ll eat berries and roots.

It’s a busy lifestyle, so to make up for it your average Honey Badger has energy levels which shame Keith Moon, and as they are virtually tireless they can wear out larger animals during combat. Coupled with this is their very thick skin which makes it very difficult to harm them, all of which means most predators now have an aversion for hunting them as they’re utterly fearless and nearly impossible to kill.

Humans would also be wise to avoid them as they’re crammed full of rabies carrying germs. Even more alarming news arrived in 2007 during the British occupation of Basra – rumours surfaced of a “man eating badger” lurking about the place! Luckily a British army spokesman was on hand to point out Honey Badgers are, “usually only dangerous to humans If provoked.” Reassuring. To see them in action head further into the post, dear readers!

The Honey Badger in Action

In the videos below you will see, in a short space of time, the Honey Badger at work. It’s kind of the Chav of the natural world; it plays by its own rules, generally doesn’t care about personal safety, loiters around corners molesting other animals, and usurps the hierarchy as, simply, it doesn’t have to bother paying attention to natural norms. The only difference is they’re intelligent, whereas Chavs have the intellectual capacity of a baked potato.

In the first clip you will get the general overview of the wee beasts in action. They’re not the most glamorous creatures but they certainly make up for it by being so stunningly ferocious.

Here’s one example why most predators mainly steer clear of them.

And here are two honey badgers taking on six lions.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the Honey Badger is classed as “Least Concern” on the International Union for Conservation of Nature’s records. Currently they populate much of Africa and the Middle East, but don’t be surprised if they suddenly revolt and take over the world. Keep one eye over your shoulder, readers. Still, you’ve got to admire their gallant pluck. All hail the Honey Badger!

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