Exclusive Invention: The Spinach Mobile

A pretty drawing of pretty spinach. Wicked, innit geez.
A pretty drawing of pretty spinach. Wicked, innit geez.

Mr. Wapojif was standing waiting for a bus this morning for 15 minutes. It was late. Furious and impatient he plotted some evil stuff whilst he waited… and waited… and waited. And then the old saying of, “you wait 10 minutes for a bus and then two yadda blah” – well, that happened. Two of them turned up. A big crowd had formed by now with everyone trying to not look too terrified by the break in social norms and, indeed, as soon as the first one turned up roughly 97.4% of the crowd went to the leading bus and piled on. In seconds it was packed. Mr. Wapojif, and a few others, went to the second one and got a comfy seat to oneself on an empty bus. Not so much of a Moron now, eh? However, he did live up to his imbecilic reputation later when, somewhat unfortunately, he became lost during a lunch hour excursion and had to be returned to work by some Jehovah’s Witnesses on their rounds. The first practical use for religious indoctrination we’ve seen in a long thyme!

Well Armageddon’s not on the cards today, it seems, but Professional Moron’s latest invention is! You may have guessed it from the title, but we’ve come up with this environmentally friendly vehicle which will be Green and look green. Indeed, the Spinach Mobile would be made entirely out of spinach (with additional salt and aspic for tensile strength) and will have a maximum speed of around 13.4mph (miles per hour). This isn’t amazing, but it would be ideal for city living! Anyway, Mr. Wapojif has spent the entire day ringing all the car manufacturers in the world (Ferrari, Skoda, Mercedes, BMW, Toyota, Honday, Robin Reliant) and so far only Ferrari are interested, but we believe, with strident force, and endless letters with strange grammatical formations, we can bully Skoda into accepting our blueprints. Imagine the name merger! Spoda! It just makes so much sense! Even better, in the TV commercials Yoda (he’s green and the name looks a bit like Spoda) would be able to reel off some business spiel nonsense about the Spinach Mobile’s brilliance. We know we’re onto a winner here, so please forward all donations to Professional Moron via our ABOUT page. Mercy buckets!

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