Stop whatever you’re doing and make a note of this: you need Assam Tea with Vanilla in your life! This is a call to action like no other, as you won’t often find us ranting about stuff you should be doing or buying.

Unless it’s Nintendo, literature, or music related… or like when we demanded you start listening to the Kermode and Mayo Film Review Show just the other day.

Okay, so we do get a bit pushy, but with good reason! Professional Moron is the connoisseur of conning folk into believing what we’re on about. But we do know what we’re on about. Sometimes. And when it comes to tea, ho boy, does our infatuation prove useful! Which brings us neatly to Clipper’s masterpiece.

Assam Tea with Vanilla

The Clipper brand know what they’re doing –  proper organic with unbleached bags. Their range is pure tea gold, but Assam Tea with Vanilla takes things to a different level. Assam is the tea (a black tea, actually) from Assam in India.

Which is why it’s called Assam, although we guess they could have called it India Tea, but that would have been confusing.

Assam is a potent little devil which packs a mighty, glorious, brilliant oomph. As teas go it’s mint, like, but we don’t mean like mint tea.

Assam is simply tea, black actually, but without mint. Those flavours simply wouldn’t work. Instead, Clipper sensibly chose vanilla. My word does it work well.

Of course it’s not illegal to drink assam tea by itself as it’s still a mighty fine beverage. But with the hint of vanilla it is transformed into a splosh of gloriousness which your senses will probably recognise as highly agreeable. Isn’t that what one is attempting to achieve, eh?

Assam Update

You can buy Assam Tea with Vanilla from the link we’ve included – the blue thing. UPDATE: However, Clipper then decided to STOP DOING this thing and now it doesn’t exist anymore.

We’ve dubbed this the greatest tea tragedy of our time. You can find out all about this horror story on that blue link that. Brace yourself. It doesn’t get pretty.