Camel Casing: In The Making Of This Glorious Headline, no Camels were Harmed

Camel Casing
The most dramatic use of camel casing in the history of ever!

Camel casing is an intensely contentious subject in the world of digital marketing. Most of us, whether we’re aware of it or not, write headlines all the time. Whether it’s an email, letter of outrage to McDonald’s, or a love letter to your insignificant other about why they’re lucky to be going out with you, you’re using headlines all the time. Truly, headlines make the world go round.

Conversely, camel casing makes the world go up and down; it’s the practice of highlighting compound words. In layman’s terms, this means making the inferior scumbag words look puny and pathetic, whilst highlighting the big important words with capital letters. Professional Moron neither supports nor criticises the practice, and today we examine it in pedantic detail. Hurray!

I Fail to Comprehend Camel Casing!

Pay more attention, will you? It’s a hotly contested arena in the marketing and journalism worlds. For some, it’s as vital as pointing out celebrity cellulite, whilst others believe it’s as pertinent as a madman juggling nuclear warheads. “Why is everyone so angry about camel casing, sir?” you may well ask. Because they’re contentious, dimwit!

We’ll use an example headline to highlight this most provocative of issues. One is with camel casing, the other without.

  • The Cat Sat on the Mat
  • The Cat Sat On The Mat

The former highlights, through camel casing, how the cat sat on the mat. The latter, through higher casing, highlights how the cat sat on the mat. The big difference between the subject matter is the duplicitous use of the noun “cat”. When one uses camel casing, the subject matter becomes about camels, not felines, and thusly the headline should read “The Camel Sat on the Mat”.

This is the big problem with camel casing – having to change the subject matter, regardless of whether camels are relevant. For instance, if you write an article about the Queen’s new dentures and use camel casing, British people will presume the article’s writer is blaspheming against the Queen (for example, “The Queen is Enjoying New Dentures!” translates as “The Queen is a Donkey!”) By jove, we won’t stand for this!

On a different note, many marketers believe camel casing can brainwash victims into buying stuff through clever camel casing. Behold!

  • Buy 2 and Get 1 Free!
  • Buy 2 And Get 1 Free!

The use of a capital letter for “and” is a psychological trick known as an antihistamine in the world of business led citizen fund removals. You’ll now, no doubt, be braying like a camel to get a hold of whatever is 2 for 1 – in this (camel) case, we were thinking about slippers. Definitely a bargain!

But why are Camels involved?

Camels enter the equation as they are experts on diction, grammar, and surviving for long periods of time in the featureless wasteland of deserts (and some desserts). They haven’t provided consent for their inclusion, and, as a result, every camel case example you see is an infringement on camel copyright. Unfortunately, as camels are aren’t the brightest of sparks, they can’t sue anyone.

Camel Casing is neither proactive or active, intelligent or stupid, brilliant or not brilliant – it simply exists. Kind of like a camel. And like a camel, with one or two or three humps, camel casing will head off into the desert on long, boring missions to make your advertising experience all the more merry. Go forth, consumers, and buy slippers. It is Christmas, after all!

Dispense with some gibberish!

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