Exclusive Recipe: Honey Soup!

Honey soup recipe
Buzz careful! It’s our honey soup recipe.

Honey soup! Oh dear honey bees, why didn’t we think of this before? WHY DIDN’T WE THINK OF THIS BEFORE?! Our Genius New Recipes section already resembles a demented version of Hammer House of Horrors and, by jove, we’re set to take it up a honey based notch today.

Honey is, of course, world famous for its sticky sweetness. It’s almost as if one could dribble honey onto anything and it would be immediately appetising. Even dribble! Imagine some unconscious, morbidly obese football hooligan passed out drunk on the floor, dribbling – dribble some honey on the dear fellow and, gee whizz, he’s transformed into a visual extravaganza!

What’s any of this got to do with Honey Soup?

We’re getting to that! Our new recipe utilises the legendary honey bee, leverages pollination, and boosts the honey product. Simply put, we go down to the local shop and buy some honey in one of those glass containers (or, as we now prefer, a squeezy honey pot!). In reality, the nearest we’ve been to a honey bee in the last month is when we played that honey level in Donkey Kong Country 2. And the baddies in that level are wasps!

Honey soup itself is the easiest soup to make in the world. All you’ll need is a lot of honey. We recommend about a dozen jars, if you’re looking to serve a family of four (or a particularly hungry batch of honey bears). Spoon it all out into a pan, heat it up until it’s lightly simmering, and there you have it. Honey soup!

The soup is delicious and will energise you with a colossal sugary fix. Indeed, one bowl of this and you’ll be running around your house screaming ecstatically for hours. Due to this, we advise you limit your intake to now more than half a bowl a day.

Effectively, then, Honey Soup is just Honey?

Yes. Except, of course, you can spruce things up a bit with added ingredients! What do we recommend? As the old saying goes, “Too many broths sprain the chef’s ankle!” Luckily, there’s nothing injury inducing about ingredients for honey soup. We heartily recommend adding in smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, haddock, and fresh dock leaves from the island of papua guinea.

You could also plump for mayonnaise, ketchup, or brown sauce if you’re a working class reprobate, but the true beauty of honey soup is the sheer brain numbing ratio of sugar to a human’s recommended daily allowance. We don’t promote unhealthy eating here at Professional Moron, but we do highly recommend consuming honey soup with relish whilst singing out praises. Huzzah!

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