In Praise of Yellow!

Yellow colour
That is pretty yellow.

Yellow is the great forgotten colour of the world. Whilst the likes of red, black, blue, and brown are lauded as royalty, poor old yellow has to sit in the background grinning like an imbecile. Yellow is not an imbecile. Yellow knows it is one of the best, and we’re here to confirm this today.

Professional Moron had this astonishing realisation at the weekend whilst playing the truly glorious Super Mario Maker on the Wii U. The game’s utterly drenched in vibrant yellow, and our esteemed editor Mr. Wapojif couldn’t hack it by Sunday and fell to his knees… and wept! You should too. Find out why!

Yellow, it’s nice to meet you!

What is it about yellow we’d like to celebrate today? Let’s start off with the glaringly obvious – yellow is the colour of cheese. Not all cheese, of course, but for the large proportion of cheeses it is the case. On Professional Moron, you may notice a salute to the greatness of yellow cheese at the top left of the page – our logo. Yes, we’re all about the cheese.

Of course, yellow isn’t all about cheese. There are many other yellow things which are fabulous. The Simpsons, for instance, popularised yellow paint, and it is now socially acceptable to paint oneself yellow and stride confidently down the street. Thank bananas we live in a progressive society, as this is one of our favourite pastimes.

In the fashion world, yellow is typically considered a colour for women. To a certain extent we disagree with this. Let’s face it, had Arnold Schwarzenegger ditched the terrifying leather jacket in The Terminator in favour of a yellow jumper and matching shorts, the 1984 classic would have gone down as a camp classic, and not a dystopian horror story. Frankly, we’d have embraced both version.

The Beatles also sung about a Yellow Submarine (featured in the DVD trailer for the film higher above), but they were all on drugs so that’s easy. Show me a Beatle and I’ll show you a man in the ’60s with a beard. Unfortunately, the beard isn’t yellow.

Famous Yellow Things

Let’s take a moment to celebrate all of the excellent yellow things which have plagued society. We mean plague in the most positive sense of the word, like a plague of custard filled donuts (custard is yellow). Let’s get to it!

  •  Bananas: Bananas are those yellow things you peel, open, and consume if you’re hungry. They’re a world famous vegetable which have an excellent, memorable colour.
  • Lemons: Lemons are different from limes.
  • Butter: It is said if you eat a litre of butter a day you will become a hater of margarine.
  • Egg Yolks: Egg yolks are the best bit about eggs. Sunny side up to ensure you clog those arteries!
  • Daffodils: The most famous daffodil type plant in the world.
  • School Bus: In America the school bus is traditionally yellow. This is a feeble attempt to try and get schoolchildren excited first thing in the morning about education.
  • Yellow Card: These are thrown at football players whenever they do something nasty, such as call the referee a useless piece of excrement.
  • The Yellow Pages: One can use the yellow pages in the UK to find people in the UK and stalk them, such as international superstar Tom Cruise (NB: Please do not stalk Tom Cruise).
  • Yellow-Bellied Cowardice: If you prefer running away from things, such as wasps (also yellow) you are a yellow-bellied coward. Which is cool.
  • The Sun: The sun is yellow. How do we know? We stared at it to find out. We lost the sight in one eye, but it was worth it!

End Statement

4 comments

  1. This is perhaps your corn -iest post. If I lived near by, I would bring you a bouquet of Dandelions. Haha, just trying to out yellow you. Seriously, though, I can’t help thinking about Hepatitis. Je ne sais pas jaune! My wine is red.

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