Great Sayings Revisited: Better the deviled eggs you know

Better the deviled eggs you know
Eggs created by Beelzebub.

Eggs are pretty awesome as you can do so much with them. You can scramble them, poach them, boil them, and even eat them. It’s a miraculous state of affairs and it makes for much jovial conversation in the world of cooking. Indeed, cooking minus eggs would be like making sandwiches with white bread – a true insult to any individual if ever there was such an insult.

Typically, the humble world of egg cooking doesn’t conjure up images of Beelzebub slobbering away demonically as he pulverises humanity with firebolts of excrement. Even the Devil has to eat, though, which is why we have deviled eggs! They’re little devils which have been hard-boiled, halved, and then inseminated with demonic evil spawn. They’re a big hit at parties!

Better the Deviled Eggs you Know

If you know religion well, you’ll know the Devil is the “bad guy” who likes to do things such as set buildings on fire and make your iPhone break. Truly, this SOB doesn’t deserve your precious spare time… except when deviled eggs are concerned. Those things are amazing.

In life, it’s not about where you’re at but where you’re not at. For instance, if you’re in Hell then your life is already over, but if you’re at home cooking eggs then you’re having a much better time of things. This is where we think this saying originated from: if you’re cooking eggs, you’re not in Hell (unless you’re Hell’s chef – if you are, shame on you! Join a more salubrious working environment post haste!).

We presume Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen has had a big say in the popularity of deviled eggs. When not pouring scorn and vitriol over his cooks, he’s spicing up all of his food with lavish outings of putrescence from the damned. Plus, profanity! Hurray!

Eggs-Cuses!

Of course, deviled eggs are particularly useful during traditional egg and spoon races – those horrifying events where you realise you’re crap at balancing an egg on a spoon. Not with deviled eggs, though. Prior to any race, simply sell your soul to Beelzebub and you’ll be firing bolts of lightning from your eyes to decimate the competition. Victory is guaranteed every time!

Of course, eating deviled eggs can make you stunningly ill due to the demon spawn within them. Ever seen the Exorcist? The girl in that wasn’t possessed by no devil, she’d simply eaten a deviled egg and that was the end result, eh?

So, if you’re a pious sort or you’d prefer your eggs with a bit less of a risk, better the deviled eggs you know and scramble the bastards instead. This may make your frying pan all yucky and difficult to clean, but you can sell your soul to the devil and all will be well from there.

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