Pomegranates: In Praise of These Difficult to Eat Things


Pomegranates are great, so today we’ve stolen a load of videos from other people’s hard work to throw on Professional Moron. Why? Well, pomegranates really are great! So, we’re celebrating them. They’re one of the more difficult fruits to stuff into your stupid face, but when you’ve got those purple/red jewels staring back at you and tasting all excellent, what’s not to love?


Pomegranates are classified as a fruit, but that’s simplifying things a bit. They’re actually a fruit-bearing deciduous shrub of the Lythraceae family. They originate from Iran, but have spread out across the world over the millennia as folks realised how mighty tasty they are. Now, you can even pick one up in the local Tesco in Bolton of Greater Manchester. Nice.

Pomegranate - art from the Southern Song dynasty
Art from the Southern Song dynasty (circa 1200 – 1340).

The pomegranate has been cultivated since ancient times. In the 16th century, it was introduced to Spanish America. And records show that Spanish settlers brought the fruit-bearing deciduous shrub to California in 1769. Whilst back then it was a rarity, as mentioned it’s now something of a ubiquitous fruit. Far from the luxury foodstuff it should be considered, it’s become normal.

That’s a bit stupid, we think. As these things are far from normal. If you love Jamie Oliver as much as we do (look at how stunningly handsome that man is – he makes us swoon!) then you’ll find he agrees with us. And Jamie Oliver is right about absolutely everything. Most of the time, anyway.

But why eat the bloody stuff? Well, it’s really good for you. There’s a start. Plus, it’s kind of super tasty. You can garnish the pomegranate “jewels” on myriad dishes, or you can chow down on the whole fruit. It’s up to you. You can even turn it into a bloody street food industry if you want – tasty pomegranate juice! That’ll put hair on your eyebrows.

Opening a Pomegranate

Despite all the love we have for pomegranates, one of the great difficulties of the world is how to get into one. Satan would struggle to hack into this thing! And whilst we often recommend one uses a chainsaw, the folks in the above video highlight just how terrifying the prospect often is.

Or you can try the above method (if you’re a bit violent). Personally, though, we like to hack the thing into four sections with a blade and then pick at the husks. This can get a bit messy, but so what? We’re slobs anyway and it’s not like we don’t want to stain our diamond encrusted gown with pomegranate juice. Why? As we only have a dressing gown. And it’s dark blue. So you can’t see the stains/mould/grit etc.


  1. One thing that’s quite common up here in Scandi-land is to find boxes of pomegranate seeds in the freezer section of any decent sized supermarket.

    First-born found this video on YouTube done by some Swedish celeb or other where they took defrosted seeds and them dropped them into melted chocolate. They come out looking like those rice crispy things – you know, like something a squirrel would eject after eating a vindaloo the night before – but they taste divine. I’m coming over all feeble just at the thought of them….

    Liked by 1 person

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