Haiku Friday: Professional Moron Does Japanese Poetry

Poetry book and haikus
Poetry this, poetry that… OMG a bat!

Okay, so it’s Friday night and we couldn’t be bothered doing a normal post as we’re slaving away over a lengthy short story.

Instead, we turned our attention to writing a few haikus. And why not? It’s a fine art. A noble one! The dictator of dictatorial things. Let’s start with our home city of Manchester!

Manchester

There is a man,

He has a chest,

Errrrr………..

Popcorn

It goes pop, 

But never bang,

Nuclear explosion. 

Tomatoes

You say tomato,

I say tomatoe,

You punch me in the face.

Football

Foot,

Ball,

Drunken hooligan riot.

Baseball

Throw the ball,

Hit the ball,

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

Slippers

Insert onto feet,

Slip,

Shatter spinal column. 

Disco Dancing

Move to the rhythm,

Too much drink,

Vomit. 

The Internet

Stupid,

Bloody,

People.

Sheds

They store stuff,

Like a house normally would,

But for man cave.

Religion

Pray today,

Pray tomorrow,

Sandwiches are nice.

Atheism

Omg, like, there’s nothing.

Zomg, like, you infidel!

Hamsters.

Pretty stuff

Pretty men,

Pretty women,

Existentialism. 

Sandwiches

White bread, 

Brown bread,

White bread is for stupid people. 

If you would like to complain about any of tonight’s poetry, please use the contact form below (strictly no Americans!).

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