Okay, so it’s Friday night and we couldn’t be bothered doing a normal post as we’re slaving away over a lengthy short story.
Instead, we turned our attention to writing a few haikus. And why not? It’s a fine art. A noble one! The dictator of dictatorial things. Let’s start with our home city of Manchester!
Manchester
There is a man,
He has a chest,
Errrrr………..
∞
Popcorn
It goes pop,
But never bang,
Nuclear explosion.
∞
Tomatoes
You say tomato,
I say tomatoe,
You punch me in the face.
∞
Football
Foot,
Ball,
Drunken hooligan riot.
∞
Baseball
Throw the ball,
Hit the ball,
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….
∞
Slippers
Insert onto feet,
Slip,
Shatter spinal column.
∞
Disco Dancing
Move to the rhythm,
Too much drink,
Vomit.
∞
The Internet
Stupid,
Bloody,
People.
∞
Sheds
They store stuff,
Like a house normally would,
But for man cave.
∞
Religion
Pray today,
Pray tomorrow,
Sandwiches are nice.
∞
Atheism
Omg, like, there’s nothing.
Zomg, like, you infidel!
Hamsters.
∞
Pretty stuff
Pretty men,
Pretty women,
Existentialism.
∞
Sandwiches
White bread,
Brown bread,
White bread is for stupid people.
∞
If you would like to complain about any of tonight’s poetry, please use the contact form below (strictly no Americans!).
Professional Moron 
Excellent! You have a rare talent.
Rare Talent (Haiku)
Not steak
Nor antique
Oblique
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I think you should open a shop: Resa’s Haiku Shop. And you can embroider haiku onto gowns. ‘ows about that?
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I want to paint them on!
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I’d like to complain right here. Brown Bread go away
you taste like a glob of hay
Give us white bread now.
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White bread is for fools. FOR FOOLS!
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I pity the fool that eats wheat bread.
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I once decided to design a haiku with 283 syllables in the first line, 997 in the second, and 339 in the third. Never wrote it in the end, would have taken bloody hours to count out all those syllables.
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Sounds like a good idea, I think I’d abandon that one as well. This lot was enough to take it out of me.
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