Many years back, we wrote about classic books ruined by adding cheese to the title. We’ve since advanced the sophistication of our posts considerably. And this is why today’s post exists.
Classic Novels… Now With More Sheds!
The result? Works of great literature IMPROVED by adding the noun “shed” into the very best works of literature. Let’s get on with it! Now!
The Taming of the Shed
Shakespeare’s classic may be a classic, but there definitely aren’t enough simple roofed structures used for garden storage in it.
Whilst Macbeth is a classic, there also just isn’t enough prose about shacks and the like. Perhaps a prequel is in order? With lines such as:
“O, full of sheds is my mind!”
Profound stuff, Macbeth. Profound.
Much Ado About Sheds
More Shakespeare. More lean-to huts. This book is really the go-to guide for gardeners looking to construct their shack, but is also filled with quippy prose.
One Hundred Years of Sheds
One Hundred Years of Solitude was a good old read. A few shacks are mentioned, too. But you know what was really missing?
An entire NOVEL about the things! Ahahahaa!
Crime and Sheds
Dostoyevsky was a master and Crime and Punishment was his magnus opus! It’s just a shame he didn’t write more about huts and the like.
What was missing from his literary canon? A master work on shacks. You heard it here first.
The Old Man and the Shed
Ah, well Ernest Hemingway was a genius. The Old Man and the Sea is a brilliant work.
But we feel it would have been a lot better if it’d been about an old man battling against the elements to put up a shack. Just our opinion, man.
Gone With the Shed
Margaret Mitchell’s classic is a tragic tale about someone you know upping from your life and stealing the shed.
This work contains the classic line:
“Frankly, my dear, I do give a damn… about my shed!”
Quite right, too, no relationship should end in this way. It’d be outrageous!
The Call of the Sheds
Jack London’s The Call of the Wild, just adapted to be about a shed in a posh upper class garden. But it wants to join the sheds at a lowbrow garden centre for a purer existence.
Includes the great line:
“Sheds, genuine passionate sheds, were its for the first time.”
We feel this would be a contender for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
The Lion, The Witch, and the Shed
Why a wardrobe? Why not a shed? Just putting the question out there, as we feel this famous work would be miles better if it was shack-based.
The Sheds in the Willows
More classic kid’s book romp alongs here, as the sheer amount of garden huts in some willows creates a much beloved classic. Hurray!
Just to note, this isn’t at all based on The Wind in the Willows and was our idea. Totally.
Requiem for a Shed
It’s clear from Requiem for a Dream that heroin is evil. But in Requiem for a Shed, this time a bunch of addicts succumb to their hopeless shack addiction.
It’s profound stuff and also led to a film starring Jared Leto method acting his pants off as a shed. Moving.
Charles Dickens had high expectations from his garden shacks. He even wrote a novel about it. The man had too much thyme (bah dum tish) on his hands!
Sheds and Sensibility
Jane Austen’s first novel is legendary for its fixation on garden huts, gardening in general, and spades.
Romance? Who needs romance when you’ve got a shovel!? Includes great lines such as:
“I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else, it must be in my own shed.”
Truer words have never been written and/or spoken, Jane Austen.