Billy’s Big Bad Bin Bag Business [Sponsored Post]

Bad Bin Bags

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo here’s THE BIN BAG SONG!

There’s a time and place to buy bin bags,
An’ it ain’t when you’re havin’ a drunken chinwag,
Or chuckin’ up into a sickbag,
It’s when you gotta buy some bin bags!

Rubbish yo, rubbish yo, rubbish yo!
Rubbish yo, rubbish yo, rubbish yo!
Rubbish yo, rubbish yo, rubbish yo!

Yo, yo, yo, yo! You want bin bags?! THEN BILLY’S BIG BAD BIN BAG BUSINESS IS SELLING THEM TO YOU! Sorry for shouting. WE JUST GET SO EXCITED ABOUT OUR BIN BAGS!

And now, here’s a message from our vastly overpaid CEO.

A Message From Our CEO Billy McBinBagson

Billy the insane CEO

“Hello everyone. I’m Billy. I’m the wealthy CEO of Billy’s Big Bad Bin Bag Business. We sell bin bags. But not bins. If you ask our customer service team if we sell bins I… I get really angry. Real angry. REAL GODDAMN FU… deep breaths. Deep breaths. Remember the training… REMEMBER THE GODDAMN BASTARD SON OF A BITCH TRAINING!”

Our charismatic CEO is the risk taker of Billy’s Big Bad Bin Bag Business. It was he who came up with our memorable first tagline:

“Buy our bin bags, or you will die!”

However, that breached numerous advertising laws and so we dropped it for:

“Bin Bags are Great – Buy Some. Go On… you now you want to”

However, then we realised there was a typo in that one, so we had to withdraw the £30 million marketing campaign because of that one error.

Third time’s the charm! We settled on this humdinger:

“Big Bad Bin Bags!!”

We feel that’s as clear as day, right? Bin bags. You need some? You buy some!

Oh, yes, but people often ask what’s so big and bad about our bin bags. Well, before they go up for sale we ensure all of our bin bags are witness to an appalling crime! Here’s how that works.

Big Bad Bin Bag Criminals

Once our bin bags are off the production line, we take them out into the streets and commit crimes with them! This includes:

  • Armed robbery
  • Burglary
  • Breaking and entering
  • Petty theft
  • Ram raiding
  • Disturbing the peace
  • Antisocial behaviour
  • Rioting
  • Looting
  • Fraud

Usually one, or a mix, of that lot. When it comes time to buy a bin bag from us, you just know it’s the baddest bin bag in the land, mofo!

Why do we do this? As our CEO Billy puts it:

“Our big bad bin bags have more street cred than any other bin bags in the world. You’ll buy them when they’re spattered with blood, spittle, and the vitriol of many a copper’s angry mouth!”

Isn’t it exciting knowing, when you chuck a pack of cheese & onions crisps into your bin, your bin bags are the baddest in the world!?

Doesn’t that just hep you up?!

Doesn’t that make you want to tear into society and commit some crimes!? 

Well, for only £50 for a bunch of 10, you can get your hands on Billy’s Big Bad Bin Bag Business!

So, yo, yo, yo, yo! Rubbish, yo! Get your big bad bin bags today to impress the babes and earn yourself some well deserved slaves*!

*Disclaimer: As we are legally obliged to inform you, Billy’s Big Bad Bin Bag Business does not endorse slavery. Nor does it endorse wanton violence and destruction. Our bin bags are intended for household rubbish only and should not be used as a weapon or in any way that harms anyone. Unless it’s for self-defence purposes. Ultimately, just remember that it’s only a crime if they catch you. So, ensure you dispose of the big bad bin bag after any tomfoolery to ensure you limit the trail back to you. 

12 comments

  1. I tried to buy some of these earlier today, but I couldn’t say Billy’s Big Bad Bin Bag without messing it up. The supermarket lady gave me a weird look and I just fled the establishment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Look! It’s not as confusing as repeating Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry on a loop. Billy’s Big Bad Bin Bags (under the terms of this sponsored post as we must tell you) is perfectly easy to pronounce!

      Liked by 1 person

Dispense with some gibberish!

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