Crisps, eh? There’s something about cheese & onion that’s basically deprevatity defined, turning normal people into munching, foul smelling lunatics.

But not unlike a hearty chip butty, the crisp is a totally unhealthy way for you to slake your hunger pangs. So, let’s have at this most common of foodstuffs.

What Are Cheese & Onion Crisps?

They’re thin slices of potato deep fried and seasoned with a cheese and onion flavouring. The foodstuff is typically consumed as a snack by hungry human beings.

Cheese & onion flavour is one of the most popular combinations in the world.

In England, Walkers cheese & onion (as of November 2020) was voted the most popular flavour in the country.

To meet demand, the factory in Leicester churns out 11 million bags of crisps a day (in all of its flavours), relying on 800 tonnes of potatoes to meet demand.

So yeah, crisps are a big deal in England.

A mate of ours (let’s call him Samantha) loves them with a passion. Samantha eats them night and day, at a whim, to fend off hunger pangs.

For many people here, it’s just the go-to snack of choice. Cheap, easy to consume, and tasty… if you don’t mind the zero health benefits.

What’s the History of Cheese & Onion Crisps?

Tayto Crisps began experimenting with seasoned crisps in the early 1950s, finally landing cheese & onion (plus salt & vinegar) on the world in 1954.

This addition of flavour to crisps was totally transformative, man, as other companies clamoured to be a part of the movement.

In England, Leicester’s famous Walkers brand got hold of the rights and was producing them by the end of 1954, too.

The Americans wanted a bit of that and were producing BBQ flavour… when!? Yes, also in 1954. Man, what a year for crisps that was!

And it was an industry changer, as prior to this flavoursome revolution crisps were sold at markets in tins.

They were often packaged in barrels as well, then scooped out and served in wax paper as a flavourless crunch.

The arrival of cellophane in 1908 eventually found its way into food preservation, which was dynamite for the potato-based market.

As flavoured crisps became a big deal, cellophane ensured the foodstuff stayed fresh in packets. This meant mass-market, global shipping was possible.

And the rest is… history! In England, you can’t move for the things.

Whether eating them on public transport or at work, crisps plague misophonia sufferers and make them curse the day the potato was born.

All About Gary Lineker and Crisps

Since 1994 (and to the present day), former footballer Gary Lineker has starred in TV adverts for Walkers.

These have become the Oxo family ads of the crisps world.

Lineker bagged a £200,000 deal from 1994 onward, with one of the most famous involving Mike Gascoigne getting his fingers destroyed.

The ads were very popular, leading to Walkers even rebranding the salt & vinegar range as Salt & Lineker.

We believe he’s still doing these ads, plus a lot of presenting as part of his post-football career. Lineker has also been outspoken on his political views, often pouring scorn on the repugnant Tory party. So… that’s the best thing he’s ever done, good man!

He’s also turned into something of a silver fox, having aged very gracefully (he’s 60). Probably thanks to steering clear of eating too many of the crisps he’s promoted over the decades.

So, ladies, if that’s your thing… go and get him!

Away from that, football fans have a thing for crisps in general as they can consume the foodstuff easily. That’s between bouts of drunken hooliganism and yelling, “The referee’s a wanker!”

Why Are Walkers’ Cheese & Onions Crisps Packets Blue… Not Green?

As with our Jaffa Cakes biscuits/cakes debate, that’s a big debate over the nature of Walkers and its colour of crisp packet.

For you see, most people think of cheese & onion flavour crisps as being in a GREEN packet. That is normality.

However, those INSANE mavericks at Walkers have cheese & onion crisps in a BLUE packet. WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?

Walkers has become one of those British brands like McVitie’s, Hovis, and Branston. They’re iconic and so deeply ingrained in society, any change to their makeup would lead to riots of nationalistic fervour. God save the Queen!

Again, were he to be removed from this tradition we fear many Brits would succumb to death due to shock.

Why does this happen? Well, Walkers says its cheese & onion range has always been in blue packets. It’s just the brand’s signature move.

So, there’s a bit of Mandela effect going on there with people’s dodgy memories.

Still, there’s no denying the crisps are normally in green packets. And for the stability of the universe henceforth, we suggest it stays that way.

How to Make Crisps

Sadly, we couldn’t find any clips of Jamie Oliver doing this recipe. So, we went hunting for the second best looking man ever.

And we found him! Aussie Curtis Stone is here to help you be less hotter than him by eating crisps and gaining weight!

Fool proof plan, mate! Fair go, mate. Fair suck of the sauce bottle.

Anyway, the ingredients you’ll need for this highly unhealthy recipe are as follows:

Potatoes (no kiddin’!)
Olive oil

And that’s pretty much it, really. You can add salt and pepper after you’ve sliced and diced the blaggards.

Just keep in mind there are healthier alternatives, such as kale, parsnip, and lentil crisps. Those’ll keep you slim and trim and sorted.