Best friends are like sheds. You can store loads of personal items in them, such as gardening tools and wheelbarrows, but they can sometimes need dusting out or replacing.
Worse still, some friends can hero worship you and begin replicating your very existence. Today’s human female has found this to be the case. What, then, must she do to put this out of control wench in her place?
Copycat Friend or Fiend?
Dear Agony Aunt. What's up guys!? I'm Maddy! I've got this problem right now and well I'm not letting it bother me much really. I mean I don't think it's bothering me. I'm bigger than that. I wouldn't let something as petty as this get to me. Right, so what it is, right, is my bestie Melanie (Melly). She's a right bitch! She's started copying EVERYTHING I do and it's like so annoying! I'm 19 right and she's 20 and like WHY is she copying me?! I know I'm cool and that but this is what she's been doing: - I dyed my hair purple and then so did she - I started dating an older guy called Tom who's got tattoos and busks for a living and then SO DID SHE (and he's called Tom and everything as well, I know right?!) - I got into some bad habits like shoplifting (it's complicated) and SO DID MELLY! WTF?! - When I was drunk one night I punched a police officer. Then so did Melly (but she wasn't even drunk) the next night - I was forced to do 100 hours of community service, but Melly did 200 just to try and get one over on me - I stole £20 from my dad's wallet and then Melly DID THE SAME (like, WTF, Melly!? That's my dad's wallet, hands off, bitch!) - I ditched my BF Tom for being a jerk, then Melly ditched her Tom (even though he isn't a jerk) - So I started dating her Tom (it's complicated) and she started dating my Tom (bitch, like, get your own man!!) - I started wearing hot summer clothes that show off my gym time, then Melly got the TOTAL SAME CLOTHES AS ME!! - I got a Chinese symbol tattoo on my shoulder that's like super cute, then Melly got a Japanese symbol that's like super cute (but not as super cute as mine, naturally) - I went on holiday to Ibiza and then SHE got a last minute ticket to Ibiza as well and RUINED all of MY selfies by DUCK LIP POSING in all of them!!! - I started listening to Lorde like this year and then SHE STARTED LISTENING TO LORDE! AND GOT TICKETS BEFORE ME! AND THEN I HAVE STILL NOT SEEN LORDE! I BET SHE WAS THE ONE WHO STOPPED ME GETTING TICKETS TO SEE LORDE! BITCH! - And the worst one... THE WORST ONE out of all of them is this... I got my bellybutton pierced. You guessed it! So did Melly. Then my piercing got infected. You guessed it! Melly then went out and threw herself into a sewer treatment centre and has been in hospital since for all sorts of bizarre ailments. This bitch, man. I can't be dealin' with this, yo! I mean... WTF!? This bitch is copying everything I do! I want to know WHAT do I DO!? Thanks hun, Maddy Waddy
Hi Maddy Waddy. This issue is far too tedious for us to bother with, can you go and annoy someone else with it, please? Cheers!
Professional Moron 
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Lighten up Waddy I mean Maddy.
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Agree!
If someone imitated my Art Gowns, I would be flattered.
Someone flattened also comes to mind.
Clearly ‘Oron is attempting to instigate dissent.
Def an Agony Aunt.
Painful post …. all in all…
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Perhaps I am attempting to instigate dissent, but then dissent sometimes NEEDS instigation. Like if you’re in a queue for sandwiches, but someone at the front is taking ages to decide between cucumbers or pickles. You don’t stand for that, ma’am. Never! You riot.
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Egads… you’re out of control!
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Yes. AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
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Thank goodness you live across the Atlantic!
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It’s okay, I drink Tea and it keeps me in Order. As you’ve seen on this blog over the years, I write only the most sensible stuff.
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That’s what he’s doing. He’s itching for a cat fight.
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I don’t have a cat, I have a hamster. 🐹
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Startin’ something?
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Probably!
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I thought so. Go to your own garden at Piccadilly, maybe I’ll show with my ninja 🥷 gear.
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Is your ninja gear some slippers, a dressing gown, and a night cap? Mine sure is!
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It’s very intimidating esp the night cap.
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Good. Intimidation is always fun. Like threatening libel against someone when they call you a “fuddy-duddy”. I warn you, I have my solicitor on speed dial.
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It’s not libel if it’s true fuddy! Now I’m going to have to get out my hoodie and Fanny pack. It’s on.
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IT IS LIBEL!! I just CALLED my SOLICITOR!!! My approach these days is to aggressively call any solicitor and whine about stuff. Ego purposes, you see.
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Are you soliciting your solicitors? We call them attorneys for this very reason.
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Attorneys?! Lol. You crazy Americans!
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We’re are bat $&@& crazy!
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Huzzah!
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We have great grammur though.
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It’s “grammer”. As in, Kelsey Grammur.
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Oh for cripes sake , of course it’s grammur!!!!
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Yeah, it has something to do with cooking – grams etc.
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🥣🥄
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And you’re saying you’re fine with that? If someone turned up as ‘olly in Florida and started doing 100% ‘olly things? I can’t see it. You’d be like, “OI! Cut this out! Or I’m gonna deck yer!!”
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You were being serious? Then I’d have to get a restraining order.
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Is that where they’re put in a straitjacket? Seems a good idea. 👍
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Piccadilly Square, 7ish.
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It’s Piccadilly Gardens. But, sure, you go off to Piccadilly Square and fight THIN AIR! Lolz roflmao
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The right margin is chopped off, but is she saying she started dating Tom the tattooed busker and her friend started dating him too? No wonder their relationship is on the rocks, and I mean “relationship” as in every point in that triangle.
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As far as I’m aware, they’ve entered a bizarre love triangle from which there’s no possible return. This is why you don’t date people with tattoos.
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If they are not copying you, they are not really your best friend. They are untrustworthy backstabbers.
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I guess you’re right. Life would be much easier if friends just went around dressed exactly like each other. Like they’re in their own clique/cult. Indeed. Hmmmm… I sense an agony aunt column about cults!!!
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Oh to be young again!!
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Being young was fun, but adult responsibilities like choosing what flavour houmous to buy are also cool. With age has come strong decision making skills regarding dip.
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