Handsome Henry for Hire [Sponsored Post]

Handsome Henry for Hire

If you’re sick to death of competent, but ugly, employees clogging up your business, then YOU need to hire Handsome Henry!

With Handsome Henry for Hire (HHH), you can hire Handsome Henry to arrive at your premises and stand about looking dishy!

It’s the ideal way to impress important clients and stakeholders, all so they don’t have to stare at that gross weirdo Dave from accounts!

Hire Handsome Henry! Attractive Men Make Your Business Attractive, Too!

Let’s face it. Most of your employees will get the job done, but they’ll do it while looking like total shit.

And that’s indefensible!

But not even a lengthy spell of plastic surgery will get all of them looking like Brad Pitt. Instead, you NEED to hire someone genetically superior and revel in their presence.

That’s where Handsome Henry enters the fray.

Book Handsome Henry and he’ll turn up at your workplace dressed dapper and ready to stand:

  • About the place looking dapper
  • Quietly smouldering and pouting
  • Right next to particularly ugly employees, consequently taking the attention away from their ghastly visages
  • Near to important new products you may be launching to make them seem desirable
  • Close to dodgy bits of your office to block unsavoury views (such as a view out of a rear window onto a working-class drugs den)

You name it, Handsome Henry is there to stand about looking all stoic and heroic. He’ll even brush his hair to one side and pout on command!

Handsome Henry for Hire’s Portfolio!

Established in July 2021, HHH is a cutting-edge business designed to make sure your business is as smoking hot as Henry!

Even if it’s only for half an hour!

In the space of one short year, Handsome Henry has established himself as the go-to hunk of the month for all sorts of events. Including, but not limited to:

  • Conferences
  • Networking sessions
  • Trade shows and expos
  • Work events, like Christmas parties
  • Funerals
  • Weddings
  • Public executions (subject to local jurisdictions)
  • Births
  • Open heart surgery
  • Brain transplants
  • Driving tests

Whatever your event, HHH is suitably primed to attend and strut his stuff.

Wow your friends and family. Impress colleagues. Make foreign stakeholders gasp at the beauty of your recruitment strategy.

Because if you want to look shit hot, Handsome Henry is all you’ve got!

In the Event of an Unexpected and Disgusting Spot!

Do note, although Handsome Henry takes great care of himself, as with any other human being he is still prone to lapses in his beauty.

For example, the outbreak of an enormous, vociferous, and angry looking spot.

Should this occur on the day of your booking with Handsome Henry (e.g. if it’s right on the tip of his nose), you’ll receive a 5% discount.

Handsome Henry will also ensure he stands at angles where his grotesque failure in appearance isn’t as obvious. If that requires him to have his back turned to you at all times, then so be it. Luckily, he has an excellent butt to stare at.

However, do note that if HHH is stricken with the flu or other major illnesses (such as scurvy), he may not be able to attend your event.

If that is the unfortunate outcome, he’ll send you a COMPLETELY FREE case of male pornography magazines in his place!

Distribute these liberally amongst stakeholders, employees, clients, customers, and anyone else in the local vicinity… free of charge!


  1. Now that is the type of service I have been waiting for. Those ugly bastards at the office clash heavily with my Marlon-Brando-like charm and general handsomeness. I’d say they should either face the knife or have their asses fired. They totally kill the vibe.

    Liked by 1 person

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