Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. is the conglomerate under which, therein, the business machinations of sieves are mandated by a 200+ body strong organisation of sieve-based experts.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. seeks to determine, and protect, the livelihood of sieves and sieve-based businesses on an international scale.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. is the pre-eminent sieve-based organisation for all requirements relating to, and regarding, utensils consisting of a wire mesh used for straining of foodstuffs such as butter beans and/or freshly boiled rice.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. Ensures Sifting Purity in a Sinning World

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. formed in 1997 as a means of safeguarding the world’s most important industry—sieves.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. acknowledges other utensils, such as that of colanders or an ami shakushi (Japanese ladle/sieve hybrid), yet dismisses them as vastly inferior to the holy perfection of a fine mesh strainer (sift).

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. notes that the fine art of sifting the likes of flour as a historic human activity. One performed by all manner of individuals: rich, poor, attractive, ugly, fat, thin, nice, unpleasant, weird etc.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. exists to determine the purity of sifting for future generations, ensuring your children can grow up in a world where sieves offer the finest possible means to separating wanted and unwanted elements from foodstuffs.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. supports diversity, yet also seeks to obliterate it—colanders are no substitute for a world-class sieve. Never in the history of the world has anyone ever said:

“I shall use this colander to drain out my freshly boiled rice, thus losing huge amounts of the, aforementioned, freshly boiled rice due to the massive gaps in the colander that are clearly a design fault. Thank goodness I have this colander instead of a much more suitable sieve. Otherwise my life would be in ruins right now.”

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. is pro-sustainability. Our mission statement is to ensure, by 2030, some 97% of freshly boiled rice is contained within a sieve and is not lost down a sink to the rest of eternity.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. seeks to abolish food waste. This organisation will take whatever violent steps it needs to in order to annihilate lost bits of rice down the drain. Including, but not limited to:

• Nuclear warfare.
• War.
• Aggressive leaflet campaigns.
• Really strongly worded emails.
• Mean name calling on social media.
• Blackmailing Colander International Enterprises Ltd.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. wishes to make it clear any business presenting itself as a rival to this noble organisation, particularly those of colander-based varieties, are run by nothing but bastard scumbags.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. will not rise to their statements nor shall this organisation address them, engage with communication with them, or acknowledge them.

Colander International Enterprises Ltd. is Run by a Bunch of Bastards

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. notes that utensil enthusiasts must not trust the disease of an organisation known as Colander International Enterprises Ltd. The total WANKERS who run this organisation are:

• Just that! WANKERS!
• Incompetent morons.
• Dunces.
• Probably completely insane.
• Clueless about cooking (who used a colander when you can have a much more appropriate sieve?!)

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. wishes to pulverise Colander International Enterprises Ltd. out of existence. Join us on this mission by DESTROYING all of your colanders.

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. then commands you to go forth into the street, find a kitchen utensil store, and buy MANY sieves (NOT colanders).

Sieve International Enterprises Ltd. notes the famous line of Conan the Barbarian. What is best in life? Sieves:

“To crush your enemies [colanders], see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their manufacturers!”