It’s 2024 and geezers are in need of some hot dates with babes! GEEZER POTION enters the fray with its impeccable hypermasculinity.
Men! Never settle for less!
Like with the proven Babe Magnet contraption, we’re now putting the toxic into toxic masculinity with a formula that’s GUARANTEED to have you wooing the ladies across the land.
GEEZER POTION: One Glug For a Date With a Babe
GEEZER POTION is formulated from a magical formula that’s far from formulaic! We use only the finest:
- Green sludge
- Radioactive waste
- Asparagus
- Avocado
- Bogeys
This is all concocted with a TOP SECRET INGREDIENT (one we’re legally contracted to inform you of what it is—masses of sugar) that’ll give you the brief confidence boost, followed by the jitters, as you approach beautiful women and demand their attention.
GEEZER POTION then works its proven, guaranteed magic.
As the potion secretes pheromones, dames will begin to swoon in wonder at your toxic masculinity. At this point it’s essential to use fantastic chat up lines such as:
- Hey babe, if you were a hangover you’d be one of the better ones without any of the headaches or vomiting.
- Hey babe, just to let you know I’m a man who leaves the toilet seat up. Dig it or beat it, baby!
- Hey babe just to let you know that I DON’T have a micropenis so there’s no need to fret with me I’m a REAL man.
As you talk complete and utter bullshit, the pheromones from GEEZER POTION will continue to pour from your pores.
No matter the dismal nature of your chat up lines, the lady in question will swoon and you’ll be able to arrange a marriage date shortly afterward.
GEEZER POTION Flavours
Being the manliest drink on the market, it’s currently available in the following MACHO fizzy flavours:
- Peach
- Piña colada
- Cosmopolitan
- Raspberry and strawberry
- MAXIMUM MANLINESS BO STENCH
Currently, MAXIMUM MANLINESS BO STENCH is our hottest selling product! Get it now while stock lasts! Seriously, they’re selling out fast!
Get out there NOW in a sweaty panic otherwise you may not have time to get any GEEZER POTION and you’ll be single, lonely, and pathetic forever!
Health and Safety Warning: The Side Effects of GEEZER POTION
The long-term consequences of using GEEZER POTION are many and varied. Prolonged use has been clinically proven to induce:
- Paranoid frenzies
- Dribbling and drooling
- Sneezing
- Bloodshot eyes
- 1,000 yard stare of PTSD
- Hysterical shrieking
Many users of GEEZER POTION also report uncontrollable spells of diarrhoea, which is accompanied by sneezing fits and wild hallucinations about 30ft blonde bimbos rampaging through urban environments Godzilla style.
Rest assured, such hallucinations are just that and there are few women in the world who are genuinely that terrifying. Indeed, the only worst case scenario of using GEEZER POTION is you will end up married and will no longer be able to flirt outrageously with more dames.
Do note, however, that GEEZER POTION has been known to cause trench foot.
It is currently unknown why this occurs, although a hypothesis suggests it is due to users wandering off into muddy fields and standing there for long periods of time dribbling. If you are one of these types, please stop doing that. It is giving you trench foot! Not babes.
