The beer market has been flapping about, DESPERATE for fish beer. This is what the Fish Beer Brewery flips to the world. FISH BEER! 🐟🍻

Fish beer quenches your thirst with the pungent, bloated, delightful stench of normal beer with the added, delicious, hints of fish!

That’s because all our fish beer is brewed with the use of fish! Stock up today so you can get totally wasted with your mates.🍻🍺

Fish Beer (🍺) Will Make You Happy (until you wake up with a godawful hangover)

You thought Marmite ale to be the best of the best! You’re right, you can’t possibly top beer as good as that!

But fish beer runs it darned close!

No squidding! One big gulp (and subsequent manly belch) of our carefully concocted formula is enough to turn you into an instant boozer for life. That’s the Fish Beer Guarantee (FBG). Our brewing process goes like this:

• The beer is brewed to organic, high-quality standards.
• While brewing, all manner of fish heads, skin, bones, entrails, bilge, flotsam, jetsam, scales, and random pieces of seaward LEGO get thrown into the mix.

Voilà! The result is fantastic beer at fantastic prices for fantastic people (especially anyone who bloody well just loves sushi)!

How to Catch Fish Beer

Our customers can’t just roll up to a store and buy fish beer as per normal beers. No, you’ve got to earn this you drunken swines!

Instead, we dump crates (and individual bottles) of fish beer into a giant lake just outside Bolton of Greater Manchester. Customers must then:

1. Turn up at the lake.
   1. Incidentally, you’ll need to fund all your own fishing gear and also learn how to go fishing.
2. Pay us a £20 fishing licence fee.
3. Try and catch yourself a crate or two of fish beer!
   1. Customers are limited to a total of two crates of fish beer per fishing session.
   2. Customers are limited to a total of four bottles of fish beer per fishing session.
4. You pay us for your catch.
5. You then get totally wasted!

What could be simpler than that?! Ink about it.

It’s the perfect way to enjoy a day out! Fishing, getting frustrated with our convoluted shopping experience, and then getting pissed senseless to wind down at the end of it all. We’ll drink to that!

Frequently Asked Questions About Fish Beer

For the sake of a great consumer experience, here are some answers to our customers cloying and annoying questions.

What is your product so disgusting!?

At Fish Beer, we take the production of fish beer extremely seriously!

And while we can’t always guarantee a taste sensation due to the entirely arbitrary nature of the way the fish bits end up in each beverage, we take pride in and work and GET VERY BLOODY ANGRY INDEED with anyone who dares defame us!!!

Can’t you just have the product in the shops like normal beer? I don’t want to learn how to fish!

Typical lazy snowflake Millennials! Stop whining and, instead, get out there, get yourself a fishing rod, man/woman up, and fish for your beer!

This is all about working for a living and reaping a reward at the end of it all. Fish beer. Puts hair on your eyebrows!

Did you get my legal notice? When I was downing your product a fish head got stuck in my gullet and I almost choked to death! I’m taking you to court.

Due to the sheer volume of lawsuits Fish Beer is currently facing, we cannot confirm or deny whether we have received your particular notice of legal advancement until you receive a response from our representative.

Why fish beer!?

Typical unimaginative, lazy, snowflake Millennials! You’re so lacking in entrepreneurial spirit you’re just now jealous you didn’t spot the gap in the beer market we did.

Our product is projected to net circa £4,500 by the end of 2024!

We’re aiming high with our FINTASTIC product and expect to running a billion pound turnover by Q1 2025. All we need is a small army of alcoholics to take a liking to our bizarre product and we’ll be filthy rich before you know it!