Notting Hill is one of those romantic comedy type 1990s films they don’t make anymore because of feminism and the woke mob.

Hugh Grant, who still stars in some films like that (contradicting our opening paragraph, which we’ll ignore that bit), stars in the film that made guys all around the world think it was fine to ask out Julia Roberts.

This following on from his “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed!” moment with Andie McDowell from Four Weddings 1994). Yes, well we’re not ones for this romance malarkey but we’ll try and rehash Notting Hill’s gem in appealing fashion for you all.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her

Here’s the original in all its glory. Hugh Grant? Handsome and charmingly baffled. Julia Roberts? Pretty and with immaculate American teeth (plus, no split ends in hairdo).

The result? One of the top ’90s romantic comedy humdingers. Right up there with “You had me at hello” from Jerry Maguire (1996).

Or, as it would be from where we’re from (Lancashire of England), “You ‘ad me at o’reet?!” Tear jerking stuff, eh?

I’m just a woman, standing in front of a man, asking him to love her

Let’s be clear on this one, as we consider this a bit of a screw up on Julia Roberts’ part (perhaps she was tired that day), but we’ve updated this line to be accurate. As there’s no denying those two are grown adults. Pedantic, sure, but also necessary.

I’m just a girl, stood in front of a boy, asking him to love her

This one is just to annoy grammar maniacs out there haha look at it, so stupid. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a buoy, asking him to love her

Perhaps she meant it in the sense of an anchored float serving as a navigation mark you often find off the coast of the sea? We guess that’s less romantic, but it’s another possibility all the same.

I’m just Julia Roberts, standing in front of Hugh Grant, asking him to love her

Hugh Grant isn’t available, Julia Roberts!

I’m just a grill, standing in front of a barbecue, asking it to cook for her

With summer just around the corner, we thought we’d throw in this BBQ friendly little number for all the romantic beef burger enthusiasts out there.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of Helen of Troy, asking him to love her

This would’ve been a completely different type of film on so many levels.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of Rob Roy, asking him to love her

As in, Rob Roy MacGregor (1671-1734) of Scottish outlaw fame. Heck, Notting Hill wasn’t too long after Mel Gibson’s Braveheart (1995) so this one makes total sense.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love Blur

Agreed on that, Blur were a much better group than Oasis. Champagne Supernova? Bollocks. It’s all about Country House!

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love myrrh

Echoes of Three Wise Men here with this gum-resin extract.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love liquor

Julia Roberts is planning a major drinking session here, clearly.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to dispose of her

Again, another totally different type of film emerges from this one. A really weird type of film. Probably a crime one. With dodgy behaviour and all that.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love Big Sur

Well, Julia Roberts, we’re not in Big Sur during the film… ARE WE?! No, we’re in LONDON and, more specifically than that, in Notting Hill.

As such, asking Hugh Grant’s Rob Roy to “love” Big Sur is an absurd request that shouldn’t be included in Notting Hill (and, fortunately, wasn’t).

And finally…

I’m just a squirrel, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her

Indeed, Julia Roberts. Indeed.