Sandwiches: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Now this is sandwich commitment! Go on, man!

Firstly! We shall state, right here and now, it is up to YOU to decide which of the following sandwiches are amongst the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. It is down to an individual to determine what is, and what isn’t, to one’s taste. Indeed. We merely went on a sandwich hunt and, by jove, did we find some amazing looking sandwiches! We also found some truly disgusting things which takes us back to our concept of the Food Splat.

So, buckle yourself in as you’re in for one heck of a bumpy ride! Hopefully one or two of these will inspire you to have an excellent lunch/snack today, tomorrow, or whenever. However, you will be eating any of the following at YOUR risk and Professional Moron has got absolutely nothing to do with your decision. Quite. Onward, comrade!


A Good Start

This is a good sandwich; reasonably healthy but indulgent, you can’t go too wrong with this.


Hoo yeah, this one is very indulgent but appetising. A bit flamboyant but aesthetically pleasing in a slightly unaesthetically pleasing way, if that makes sense. Well, it doesn’t make sense so don’t you dare agree with us!

The Colossus

Perhaps it’s the angle of the photo… regardless this sandwich seems to be a bit on the massive side. Who knows what lurks within? We like it! There’s nothing like a bit of, “I wonder what I’m eating?” whilst eating. Enigmatic = tasty.


Sandwich, baked beans, and mash. It’s more the beans being so carelessly splatted onto the tray which bothers us; bean juice drunkenly overflowing. The sandwich itself looks a bit… you know.

Banana, Bacon, and Peanut Butter Sandwich

A devious creation by a foul mind.

Cheese Hangover

It has been debated through the many human centuries whether or not a slice of cheese should hang off the sandwich. Plato argued “no”, Aristotle “yes”, and Einstein noted “maybe”.

The Annoyance

This looks like a nice sandwich but, really, it’d would be falling all over the place and making you look like a pig as you munched on through it. Avoid, unless you don’t mind being undignified.

Corned Beef on Rye Bread

We really can’t advocate this to anyone.

A Disaster

This is just monumental laziness at its very worst.

The Splat

Sausages with some sort of splodge like filling. Probably tasty but, you know, it looks like someone has evacuated their stomach contents all over the shop.


This was constructed with minimal effort by a dunce who decided to fling whatever was in the fridge together and then flatten the thing so it would all stick together. Gordon Ramsey is not amused!

Alien Sandwich

This is a cast off from Alien, surely?


The Beast of Bodmin in sandwich form.

The Splat 2

This was a sandwich until a beef plague swallowed it up. ‘Twas a tragic tale.

And finally…

The Sauce for ALL Sandwiches!

We thought we’d give the Beer and Cheese Flavoured spread an honorary mention as, you know, every sandwich needs a great spread!

Dispense with some gibberish!

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