Why is green stuff good for you?

Green (and other coloured) vegetables. Glovely? Hoo, yeah!

Vegetables, eh? Why do they make you stay alive? We’re not sure, but our green friends such as broccoli, spinach, courgettes, cucumber, cabbage etc. are all super healthy for you and keep your legs attached to your abdomen and your ears clinging to your head. It’s all so super wicked and awesome, except a lot of people are fussy eaters and can’t stand them. Why? As they’re just a bit pathetic, that’s why. We apologise for being blunt but, come on dumbo fussy eaters, they’re just vegetables! Stop being a big baby and eat the things, otherwise your head will implode and your foot could swell up to the size of a walrus. And that would be quite something, eh? Awesome.

Still, it got us thinking; green is clearly the healthiest colour. Not red, or yellow, or blue – it’s green. So, what other green stuff should we be eating? Our very own Mr. Wapojif had a good hard thunk about that one and he discovered some of the most shocking discoveries since thyme itself began. Hoo yeah! Indeed. Read on to find out, guy!

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Frogs

"Don't even go there, sister!"
“Don’t even go there, sister!”

The French eat them. Usually with garlic. They’re also green (usually), so why don’t more people eat frogs? Well it’s possibly due to the fact your average frog is actually a Prince in disguise. This is not worth not eating frogs, though, as they are CRAMMED full of nutrients such as green. They also (if you don’t feel like eating them) make a really ace noise – “ribbit” is about as wicked a piece of onomatopoeia we can think of, although “moo” is still pretty ace.

Christmas Trees

Green!
Green!

Not usually thought of as food, but all that green shouldn’t go to waste, you know? We can think of some amazing examples, such as Christmas Tree soup, Christmas Tree on Toast, and the ever wonderful Christmas Tree Pot Noodle. Admittedly this isn’t the most versatile dish, and usually just involves slathering loads of other gunk over the tree, but at least it’s healthy!

Wallpaper

Eat those healthy walls, man!
Eat those healthy walls, man!

Yes, we all love a bit of wallpaper from time to thyme. Obviously most of the stuff isn’t really good for you in any way, but the green stuff is known to clear pesticides out of your hair. Good, eh? Get to eating then, dammit!

Vehicles

Looks like spinach!
Looks like spinach!

Perhaps eating metallic stuff isn’t a really great idea, but if you live by the sword (green stuff is good for you) then you die by the sword. This is actually a stupid saying as we should imagine plenty of sword wielding warriors from the past retired from their hedonistic days to enjoy… well, green vehicles for tea! Hurrah!

Computer Bits

It's green!
It’s green!

Nothing quite like a bit of computer stuff to liven up your diet (and shred your mouth). It has oft been said that if you eat some computer pieces it will help you know whether you are a robot or not; if you’re not your mouth will poor blood and eating the computer “chips”  will be horrible, bloody agony. But they’re green, good for you, and calorie free. Eat!

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