Exclusive Recipe: Ham and Jam Sandwiches

A ham sandwich with a selection of fillings
Just needs more jam.

We like sandwiches a lot at Professional Moron. We also like jam a lot at Professional Moron. You know what else we like? Food in general.

Let’s face it, it’s the only reason we’re alive. Well, the Sun helps a bit, too, as does water… and numerous other things. Such as the ham and jam sandwich!

Why You Need Ham and Jam Sandwiches in Your Life

As with mayonnaise soup and sardine ice cream, there are just some perfect combinations out there that… make perfect sense. Enough sense… to use many ellipses.

What we’re getting at is how we’ve invented this amazing new recipe. And it is amazing. You could sort of say it’s “Jamazing”. *ahem*

Still we thought we’d explain this culinary delight in more detail. For a ham and jam sandwich what you do, right, is get some bread and then get some ham.

The trick here is to then hit the Jam Cabinet to procure some of your fabulous preserves. Got that? Good. Now what you do then is apply the ham and jam to the bread.

Voila! A ham and jam sandwich (although you can refer to our ham and jam soup for more ideas on why those two ingredients work so well together).

We feel these things have a salubrious quality—kind of like displaying yourself have naked before the Sun and basking in its rays.

Not quite as vast and all encompassing, of course, as the Sun is pretty awesome. But you wouldn’t want to date it, right? Talk about perpetual, lingering agony!

You’d get a decent tan, we suppose. But the main issue here is you can’t eat the Sun. As you’d get horrendous sunburn.

But you can eat the ham and jam sandwich. And we encourage you to give it a go, should you want to question your purpose in life. In one way or another.

Have some gibberish to dispense with?

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