Is The Game Boy Edible?

The humble Game Boy doing its clunky thing. T’were an epic machine!

We recently read a news article about a decade+ year old Big Mac from McDonald’s which (thanks to probable radioactive isotope exposure) still looked pretty much as good as the day it had been purchased. So Mr. Wapojif (our esteemed editor) got to thinking. And this is what he thunked, “You know… what other old stuff could one eat?!?” Rummaging through his collection of old stuff he soon happenstanced upon his Game Boy (ゲームボーイ Gēmu Bō) of yesteryear. These things were released across the globe circa 1989, and along with Tetris they sold around 100 gillion squillion copies worldwide. Of course, and many of you idiot yoofs out there may be surprised by this, the games were in black and white (well, t’was more a beige and grey look). Yes! No colour! Well that’s what Communism does to you, I guess, either that or technology hadn’t really boomed yet. Anyway, they were mega-popular and lead to the 3DS machines of today, what with their fancy gimmicks and boopy-beeps.

This isn’t the point of today’s post, though, this nostalgic rambling. No, Mr. Wapojif was ruddy well hungry and wanted to see if this now obsolete games console could offer him a tasty, nutritious snack.

He even dared dream of opening a fast food chain with the brilliant moniker, “Game Boy King’s” (a mixture of Burger King’s “King” and McDonald’s “‘” – and if you can’t see that it’s a ‘ sandwiched between two “”, much like a burger is mashed between two bread bits). So our glorious leader got to it and, after shattering a few incisors, retreated to his kitchen cupboard for some ketchup and mustard to make the going easier.

Once the hemorrhaging commenced Mr. Wapojif began to get a bit confused, and much like Macbeth (from Shakespeare’s play) he believed he could see a dagger before him. He was just hallucinating through blood loss, though, and it was instead a spork he had somehow found amongst the rubble of his Old Stuff collection.

This is when the rest of the Professional Moron staff (including Beans the Chinese Dwarf Hamster) discovered his insane experiment and whisked him off to the local KFC, where he gorged on life-giving Chicken Drumsticks from a bucket. And then all as right with the world.

Have some gibberish to dispense with?

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