Do Robots Really Want To Work At McDonald’s?

Robot
“Do you want fries with that, mate?”.

The really great thing about eating in fast food restaurants is the sense of moral superiority one attains. Why is this so? Due to the intense stupidity of the staff, that’s why! Restaurants such as McDonald’s are typically staffed by spotty youths (i.e. morons), and the ones who aren’t cretins tend to be students planning an exciting future as the CEO of Macebook – the anti-social media networking site whose registered users enjoy macing people.

These days it’s well known robots will one day inherit the Earth. As it says in the bible, “the meek shall inherit the Earth”, and robots aren’t even meek. They’re a step above this – if you’ve seen The Terminator you’ll know they’re cold blooded machines (literally) whom will stop at nothing from fending off Michael Biehn and his schoolboy crush on Linda Hamilton. What an idiot.

Anyway, these days it seems inevitable robots will take over your job. It’s certainly happening in fast food restaurants. As stated in THIS report about global thematic research, the economics of automation means the ultimate fast food experience is a fast one. What stuff are quick? Robots is. What’s less expensive than those bloody annoying human workers? Cats. Robots, too.

Burgers
How’d you like them burgers?

There are TWO (not three) key problems here. The first is this: the introduction of robot food servers would create a Dearth Vader of employment issues. What we meant with this postulation is this: think of the generation of youths whom won’t enjoy the crushing realisation of how crap work is. What will inspire them to go on to better things? Instead of working at McDonald’s, they’ll have to do something else. Such as being the official Town Crier, and only one person can do that, and there’s definitely more than one acne ridden teenager out there.

Local governments will be forced to employ a multitude of teenage Town Criers. Can you imagine that!?! 1,000 smelly teenagers lining the streets yelling about the local McDonald’s only employing staff who don’t really exist. What’s happening to the world!?! This is all the fault of the bloody liberals!!!

The other problem is the robots. Do they really want to work at McDonald’s? We’d argue “no”, but I suppose “they” could program the robots so they, like, really do, you know, want to flip burgers for a living. There’s no harm in that, right? Think about it, you may even end up with a burger which looks like the burger from the TV adverts. Balls to space exploration, this is a genuine indication of human progress. Glory!

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