Why Aren’t There Three Es In “Trees”?

Trees are renowned for their volatile behaviour, flamboyant personality, and hyperactivity.

A quick blog post this evening about trees! You guessed it, which authoritative SOB decided the word (which may, or may not be, a noun – we tend to think of it as a proverbial adjective) should only have two es in it, innit?

We get why there are at least two, otherwise it’d be tres, which is “very” in French. We also understand why there’s at least one as otherwise it’d be trs, which is deranged gibberish I tell you. However, there’s absolutely no raison trees should not be restricted by their es.

Anyone who’s ever watched Father Ted will also recognise “tree” as the Irish way of saying “three” (the number which comes after five). This is irrelevant to this blog post as numbers aren’t relevant to trees. Which is why it’s irrelevant.

Think about it, though, when you say tree, how do you say it? Would it definitely be the way you write it, with two es? Sometimes, here at Professional Moron, we really like to get our brains around the word and say it in a way where tree or, heck, possibly even FOUR es would be in there! Write it that way, though, and you’d be flayed alive with The Queen’s corgis. Which would be weird, but it’s British law!

Anarchy In The UK, though, join Professional Moron in the tree revolution! Hold on to the end of your words (particularly the word “tree”) and let’s send the NANNY STATE packing with their damn liberal pedantry over how to pronounce stuff. Treeeeeee!

Dispense with some gibberish!

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