Beans on Toast is great and all that, and as it’s Halloween we’ve gathered a few million spare souls as part of our latest recipe. Beans on Ghost takes that Halloween edge to a classic recipe to make you, quite literally, foul yourself in terror whilst you eat. Which is, handily, an effective time saver.
None of the ghosts (the souls) agreed to be in the recipe, but so what? Do you think cows agree to be in the burgers you eat at McDonald’s? Exactly! So the essence here is to take something good – hearty beans on toast – and remove one of the most integral ingredients. We’re not on about the beans. Indeed, we’ve got our eye on the toast. Who needs those excessive carbs, anyway?!
The idea behind beans on toast has always been to take the baked beans, heat them up, and then dump them on the toast. Toast is bread which has been burnt alive inside a toaster. As previously indicated, the toast is not an element to this dish. No. Ghosts are. Think of this recipe like the film Ghostbusters, except with more beans.
To make the dish you’ll need to know some ghosts. As most of you reading this blog probably don’t know any ghosts, our Beans on Ghosts brand of ready-made tinned produce is the ideal substitute for you! Through morally sound and globally recognised techniques, we catch the ghosts by using an intergalactic thunderblaster (in layman’s terms – a bazooka). We shoot them out of the sky and then cram them into specially formulated containers known as “tins” along with some beans.
Voila! Beans on Ghost! Simply pour the contents of the tin into a pan and cook the SOB up! Now, again, our critics have been eager to point out product essentially equates to half a tin of beans, and half a tin of thin air. They have claimed we are conning consumers with extortionate prices and fancy gimmicks, when in fact the product only offers half the amount of produce when compared to other baked beans brands.
We rubbish these claims by stating, quite firmly, there are ghosts in those tins. It is a certifiable fact. We placed them there ourselves. As for those arguing ghosts don’t even exist – duh! Have you even seen an episode of Ghost Hunters, Strange But True, or watched Paranormal Activity? Or have you ever heard something creak in the night as you try to sleep? It’s not your intestines processing your dinner, it’s just some ghosts wanting to find their home in a friendly tin of beans. So buy the product – £50 ($100) a tin!